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Hey teacher, leave those shites alone!

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134 replies to this topic

#31 OFFLINE   NorfolkNWeigh


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 04:05 PM

Secondary School-Aberaeron 1975-1981.
Most teachers had Minis,Escorts,Chevettes etc.
The more Shiteworty;
Bill Lewis ( Billy Whizz) Deputy head,lived next door to Sir Geraint Evans who also had a 164. Looked vert posh parked outside their Georgian townhouses.
Dr Thomas (Twm Chem or TC) Headmaster, had an orange 144 before the Jubilee.
Mr Parry ( Adolf) German teacher, had all the anti nuclear stickers, about 8 languages.
Mr Evans(Blob,yes he was fat,hey we were kids not fuckin Dickens.

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#32 OFFLINE   NorfolkNWeigh


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 04:14 PM

The Simca belonged to the Pottery teacher Mr Thomas, who once remarked when I was 15 and had just bought Car and Custom Car on a school trip to Cardiff- " You could probably afford a tidy car if you didn't buy so many magazine" shoulda listened.
This was the most surprising,it was the only Japanese car at school and was driven by Mr Mathews ( Bony M) our history teacher,who was a Burma Railway survivor.
And yes he was still like a walking skeleton 30 odd years later,hence our nickname- kids are horrible little bastards.
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#33 OFFLINE   DVee8


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 05:08 PM

Secondary school early 80's

Mr Tate the head teacher drove a Audi 100 he had his own parking space with head teacher

Mrs Cheng had a XR3i

Mr Tait pe teacher had a mgb

Some one had a 924 in yellow or white or both.

Just rolling along

Daimler 250 V8 1968

BMW 320dGT M-Sport.

Nissan X-Trail N-tec

#34 OFFLINE   Bone


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 05:24 PM

From the mid 60's onwards I can remember a new Mini 1000 at primary school, but no idea who owned it. At secondary school there was a Fiat 124, Triumph gt6, Triumph 2500pi, VW Beetle (Jeans), an NSU Prinz, Renault 4, Land Rover, Austin A40, Volvo 145 & a Honda 350.


I can remember the Beetle was owned by a nice guy called Mr Nightingale, Mr Sheperd and his NSU likewise. Not forgetting Mr Butterworth & his Honda, crazy bastard but an excellent teacher. The rest were sadists who's names I have probably blocked out because I cant for the life of me remember them.


Of course, 40yrs of social research may not have been kind to the old memory banks.

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#35 OFFLINE   Sudsprint


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 05:39 PM

Well, who could forget the latin master Mr Perkins in his Trojan:




..then there was the bursar Mr Nixon on the day he crashed his Ford into the school pole: 




..and our form master Mr Nutter and his Singer Rocket (he was never the same after a very messy high speed head on accident in the staff car park):



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#36 OFFLINE   FakeConcern



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Posted 22 September 2015 - 05:41 PM

In the mid 70's at secondary school.

Mr Lazard (Art) J plate Volvo 144 in dark blue & always filthy (we used to make up rude stories about his wife's Vulvo, but he used it most.) Mr Mann (Art) Rover 60 in brown over beige. Mr Coales (English) Cortina 1600E in that sort of metalic pink colour, later replaced by another one in Aubergine. He also raced a Formula Ford (battling for second to last place). PE teacher (can't remember his name) had a Mk1 Mini brush painted black with dents all over it after he rolled it with the rest of the PE Dept in it on a wild night out!

Mr Wilkinson (Deputy Head & Physics) Had a lovely blue Bristol (may have been a 407) with a pre 63 plate so I don't know the year. He once had a puncture & we were fascinated by the spare wheel in the front wing. We also made lots of Bristols jokes.

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#37 OFFLINE   Hertz


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 06:00 PM

I can't remember what I had for breakfast let alone what smokers the teachers drove back in 87. Oh hang on I do remember Mr Hathaway had an omg early reg plate madness Y plate Volvo 740 in Silver. 

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#38 OFFLINE   Angrydicky


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 06:03 PM

Late 1990s...


Mrs Riley had an orange MG Midget, RPW 505R. She sold it a few years ago, but it's still knocking around the local area.


Mrs Kendall had a blue Renault 11, think it was an 'A' reg.


Mrs Taylor (head) and Mrs Garrick (deputy) had matching MK5 Escorts.


Mrs Mitchell had a black Metro, think it was F reg, which I seem to recall needed a lot of churning to start.


One older chap (can't remember his name) who was a supply PE teacher rocked up to school in a MK2 Zephyr/Zodiac!

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1996 Renault Clio 'Nicole'



#39 OFFLINE   MarvinsMom


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 06:21 PM

at our school, mr cockfield, the metal work teacher had a bright yellow (snapdragon?) mini 1000,

mr wardell the woodwork teacher had a white DAF variomatic, 

mr allen one of the history teacher had a citroen visa, 

mr marne the art teacher had a beige austin maestro city,

mr mott a french teacher had a citroen lna,

while mr yuille the pe teacher had a burgandy ford capri laser, last but not least-

mrs woman (i cannot for the life of me remember her name) the head teacher had a black series 3 daimler double six. lovely.


sad sack that i'm since i can remember this.


this was at the local comp between 1985 and 1990.

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#40 OFFLINE   Cheggers


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 06:26 PM

The two I remember most clearly are Mr Wootton's Lotus Elan & Mr Winston's Wartburg Estate (Mr Winston was a hell of a teacher, used to fly Mosquitos in WW2)

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#41 OFFLINE   omegod


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 06:27 PM

Prescot Comprehensive, Merseyside 85-90


Mr Mahon ,German, Fiat Mirafiori

Mr Chambers,IT, MG Montego and a cool Granada Estate

Mr Powell, Woodwork, Renault 4 and a little green fiat camper

Mr Walker, PE , Capri Calypso

Mr Wilson , a lovely red Saab 99 turbo and a 2CV

#42 OFFLINE   Asimo


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 06:29 PM

Head Miss had a Bedford CA , in what is nowadays called "dayvan" form. It was rusty as hell and had velvet curtains. It was the colour of ten years of road dirt and was rumoured to have been driven to Israel and back.

Maths Ms, a nervous, petite spinster: a Hillman Imp in that green/goldish Rootes colour. With tartan rug and one of those Pifco stick on electric de-misters.

Physics chap had a yellow Fiat 128 in which I had a ride. I asked him if it was front wheel drive (being suspicious of such modern-ness) and was shocked that he didn't know. He then got a new Metallic blue Renault 15 which at that time was the newest and comfiest car I had ever ridden in.

Sexy new chem teacher had a red Daf55 estate in which she took me to the pub. (Where she introduced me to her bloke)
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#43 OFFLINE   mercrocker


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 07:06 PM

Infants 1964/5 - Headmistress had a Mk 1 Mini she used to park in a little garage in the school grounds.   Her neighbour was also a teacher at the school and used an A35 van followed by a Morris Minor that I remember being particularly flatulent and upon which she never quite mastered the clutch.   No other staff at this school had a motor except a supply teacher who alternated between NSU Prinz 4 and Raleigh Runabout, both B reg.


On to Juniors where most of 'em seemed to have blue and white Anglias in various stage of repair.  I remember boring other kids by pointing out how the pre-65 cars had little frosted glass side/indicator lights with a clear centre whereas the later cars had separate amber flashers.   It was around then that I probably started getting picked on, culminating with my 1966 Observer's Automobiles ending up in a puddle.   Fucking Heathens.   Headmaster was a Farina adherent.   There was a vile bitch with an Imp that I have tried to obliterate from memory - she was fit, though.   Not as fit as Miss Kemp, however - auburn hair, suede miniskirt, kinky boots and tight sweaters.   She was even more desirable for owning a chartreuse Simca 1500 saloon.   


On to Comprehensive, a hateful den of twisted fuckers and Seventies thuggery.   Headmaster had a horrid little 1100 2 door in hard-sell white with black vinyl trim.  Followed by the first Marina I ever saw, also the same colourway.   Deputy head had a metallic blue Viva HB SL 4 door then went Japanese with 140Js.   Headmistress had an Ascona A auto in almost the same blue as the Viva.    Shite highlights were as follows -


Geography Williams - Mk 1 Cortina, LHD, column change.  Good effort, will go far.

Mad Maths Williams - Lilac Herald 948.   Needs to pay more attention to his seam work.

Other Maths twat name forgotten - Hillman Husky on Jersey Plates.  Who are you trying to fool, lad?

Woodwork blokey - Top spec Volvo 145S with all available extras, metallic JRG.  See me, boy.

Art teacher whats-is-name - Ginetta G15.  Head boy next year if he keeps that up....

Mr Honeybourne (cant remember what he taught) - Pogweasled A40 Farina.   Work needs more polish.

Mr Howard (special needs Teacher) Volvo 121 with 121 number plate.  A satisfactory term. 

Mr Barber, PE.  Renault 4 which got front ended and rebuilt with plastic, instead of chrome, grille.   Very poor show - You are only cheating yourself.


As for the rest of you - Pull your socks up.  Sauntering in every day with your 1800s, Mk 1 Escorts and Miserable Little Minis.   Pathetic.   Do you want those on your leaving report?   Must try harder - Look at Miss Palmer, the science lab technician.  Not even a Teacher yet makes the effort to turn up to school in a Ford Zodiac Executive.  Out-shited, Out-classed by a Girl.  Shame on you all....

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#44 OFFLINE   Tamworthbay


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 07:13 PM

My Biology teacher had a white XR3i and wrote off a milk float with it on Locko road in Spondon.

#45 OFFLINE   D Spares & Tyres

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Posted 22 September 2015 - 07:26 PM

I got driven home in the headmasters renault 11 once which was a bit odd

I also remember a vw santana. Haven't seen another ffor years

#46 OFFLINE   RoadworkUK


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 07:37 PM

In 1991 my D+T teacher, Mr Barnes, ran a MK1 Toyota Starlet.

My Drama teacher and form tutor, Mr Perry, had an E21 BMW 316.


The registration was SHK109W and I really, really don't know why I've just remembered that.


Oh fuck; I've just remembered the registration numbers of my school buses:


HHB48N Atlantean

KJD58P Fleetline

THM630M Fleetline

BNO700T Bristol VR

UVX4,5,6,7,T Bristol LH

JKV414V Bedford (Plaxton Supreme)


Er, etc. Think I'm going to shoot myself now.

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#47 OFFLINE   MrBiscuits


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 07:44 PM

I can remember nearly all the cars, but hardly any of the teachers. Shitest vehicle at primary was probably the school minibus - a mk2 transit 'crew bus' i.e. LWB van with a wooden bench down each side. Could seat 30 kids with no belts when required.

At Secondary the highlights were:

Mr Richardson (art): orange Estelle.
Other art miss: Mazda 929 estate.
Woodwork: Y reg Sierra.
Mr Burns (PE): rusty white Dolomite.
Mr Westwood (maths): Alfa 164
Mrs ??? (Maths): Cavalier Commander
Mr Cunliffe (PE): Metro Turbo

#48 OFFLINE   Zantimisfit


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 07:52 PM

At junior school in the 1970s


Headmaster had a K reg Marina 1.8 but downgraded to a yellowy/limey 1.3 - evidently the awesome power of a 1.8 was beyond him.


Various teachers had C reg Riley 1.5, M reg orange Mk 3 Cortina, G reg Viva GT. Gym/music teacher had an Imp which she replaced with a brand new Golf (she was very keen on God and Cilla Black from what I remember...a bit of a weirdo)


At high school... I remember the caretaker had a nice maroon Mk1 Capri and the English teacher a yellow Robin van which the pupils (not me of course) used to pick up and move round the car park when they were bored...which was often. The other English teacher always had Maxis and the French teacher an exotic Fiat Supermirafiori. Other stuff was typical mid/late 70s porridge.


At this stage the insidious menace of the foreign car was getting more apparent.....life would never be the same again

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#49 OFFLINE   Hendry



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Posted 22 September 2015 - 07:57 PM

When I started high school in August 1999 these are the ones I remember: head teacher had a blue H reg Granada 4 door saloon, the next head teacher had an N reg mk6 Escort L spec, which he kept but bought a brand new 04 plate mk1 Citroen C5 VTR I think, my maths teacher had a tweetie pie yellow T reg Suzuki Alto followed by a X reg Suzuki Ignis then A brand new 02 plate mk4 Astra SXi. Deputy head had a N reg Civic 3 door (the one out from J/K plate and finished on an N reg) followed by a R reg Vectra B Arctic then a facelift Vectra B LS in Krypton Green. The other deputy head had an R reg Vauxhall Omega later replaced by a Y reg Omega not sure what spec but I think possibly MV6/Elite (both) another maths teacher had an Arden blue R reg Corsa B followed by a W reg mk2 Clio "MTV" special edition, my English teacher had a P reg red 3 door Fiesta Encore, head of English had a T reg Fiesta 1.25 LX 3 door followed by an 02 plate Fiesta Freestyle. Geography teacher had an R reg nautilus blue mk3 5 door Astra, History teacher had an R reg Honda Civic 5 door (Rover 400 style) Modern studies teacher had a F reg Audi 80 which was replaced by a W reg Renault Espace. Business management teacher had a black base model T reg Fiat Punto 5 door. Male PE teacher had an R reg Toyota Carina E follows by a W reg Toyota Avensis. Female PE teacher had an N reg Mercedes estate, not sure what model, something like the one Lord Sterling had recently. Drama teachers both had R3 Rover 200s, a P reg 214Si, a V reg 211 and an S reg 214Si. Guidance teacher had an L reg red Honda Civic, biology teacher had a K reg 306 and physics teacher had a white M reg 405 followed by a green T reg 406 then a dark blue 02 plate 406. Tech teacher had a kingfisher blue N reg HHR Rover 400 5 door.

The shite heroes however were as follows: Mr McHugh tech teacher: F reg mk2 Astra. Mr Clark, PE teacher, G reg flat red Volvo 740 saloon with wheel trims. My home economics teacher (forget her name) had a dark grey G reg Volvo 740 estate, and Mr Harley the computing teacher had a red G reg Volvo 460 saloon. Mr Murtagh, science teacher had a J reg R8 416 saloon which was rotten, And finally another drama teacher had both a burgundy Alfa 164 and a Fiat Tipo at the same time.

The thing which struck me at the time is how most of those cars were new-ish and modern at the time and whilst varied wildy which at the time surprised me because I assumed teachers were all boring bastards who had given up on life (my attitude towards spending all day tying to get through to stroppy teenagers) and would all drive similar cars, they all did share one thing in common, most were low spec or base model. There were no Fiesta Ghias, Vectra SRi/CDxs, Rover 420SLis, 406 Executives, and so on

Previous Car History:

97 R Vauxhall Astra 1.6 LS

02 51 Peugeot 206 1.4 LX

04 04 Renault Clio 1.2 Dynamique

98 S Hyundai Accent 1.3 Si Coupe

05 55 Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 SXi

02 52 Vauxhall Astra 1.6 Comfort

97 P Volkswagen Golf 1.4 SE

05 05 Vauxhall Astra 1.8 Design

09 59 Renault Clio 1.2 Dynamique

15 15 Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 SRi

09 09 Volkswagen Jetta 2.0 CR TDi Sport 140bhp (Current)

#50 OFFLINE   AlabamaShrimp


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 08:06 PM

Secondary School-Aberaeron 1975-1981.
Most teachers had Minis,Escorts,Chevettes etc.
The more Shiteworty;
Bill Lewis ( Billy Whizz) Deputy head,lived next door to Sir Geraint Evans who also had a 164. Looked vert posh parked outside

Which teacher had the Churchill?

As for me can't really remember and don't think I paid that much attention. Only ones I do remember were at primary school in the early 80's Ms Copley (evil bitch) had a Mk1 Renault 5.
At high school the form teacher (I want to say Mr Rhodes?) has a Passat estate, maroon mk1 I think
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#51 OFFLINE   skoda_fan


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 08:07 PM

Wow this has got me thinking (and gives away our ages!). My geography teacher had a Simca 1501 estate identical to the one above. He traded in his Humber Sceptre for it.
German teacher: Austin 1100. I remember him saying he wished he could afford to trade up to an Allegro!
Other (richer?) German teacher: Cortina mk3 GXL. This was very flash at the time.
Maths teacher: NSU Quickly moped
Chemistry teacher: Traded in his TR3 for an MGB
Lab assistant: ropey Herald convertible..........

When I got to the sixth form some of the pupils started getting cars. My mate had a succession of VW beetles (their plates alone would be worth a tidy sum now), inspiring me to get one as my first car. I paid £80 for it. He had two wrecks at home (Minx, Anglia van) that we used to race on wasteland near his home.

Another car-mad lad had several cars in succession whilst still at school: Minor, Pugs 403 and 404, Lancia Fulvia, Rover 60. Another came to school in a Reliant Regal.

Teachers' cars got interesting at uni too. One had an Allard J2. Another had the crummiest A40 ever, which seemed to be held together with bungee ropes.

Those were the days (my friend...the first record I ever bought!)
PS Why do we find all this stuff interesting? Maybe we need to get lives lol.

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#52 OFFLINE   skoda_fan


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 08:11 PM

PS Just remembered the lad who used to come to school in a Jowett Javelin...lucky bugger!

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#53 OFFLINE   skoda_fan


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 08:21 PM

Also just remembered the German teacher who came out to check up on me when I was doing a secondment in Germany from uni. He had a Mini Clubman Estate. His driving scared me because at every opportunity he would knock it out of gear and coast in neutral. I've never seen anyone else drive like this before or since (thankfully).

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#54 OFFLINE   cros


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 08:54 PM

The memories on some of you lot, very impressive.
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#55 OFFLINE   mercrocker


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 09:03 PM

Don't ask me what I learned there, though.....

1963 Morry Thou

1955 Cowley

1987 VW T25 Holdsworth

1990 190E

197? Portafold Caravan 

2000 Fiesta Zetec Ghia


#56 OFFLINE   phil_lihp


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 09:20 PM

As I recall, most of the teachers in my secondary school in the mid-late 90s went in for the neglected chod approach so there were a few interesting spots to be had.  One supply teacher owned a light blue Visa with grey front wings and a revolting interior.  I overheard her apologise to some colleagues as they got in it to go to lunch somewhere about the smell, then one of the headlights fell out as she drove out the gates.


There was also a drama teacher with a very ropey dark blue Mk2 Cavalier which never seemed to run properly.  I watched a group of coerced six-formers pushing it around the car park one lunch time.  Eventually it caught and as we were passing he then told me and my mate to stand next to it and keep an eye on it while he ran back in to the building to get something as he had to leave it running in fear of it not restarting.


Then there was the supply teacher who parked on the 'overflow' car park, basically the edge of a football field right next to the car park, who swung on to the grass a little too briskly when the ground was damp and gracefully slid his Citroen BX into the side of another teacher's Austin Metro in front of a lot of amused teenagers.  Some of whom weren't so amused when they had to help extract it and got their white trousers (aah, the 90s) sprayed with mud as a result.


My favourite was probably the school minibus though, a very battered 'H' reg petrol Transit complete with metal front numberplate.  It was famously unreliable and regularly caused my PE group to be late to squash sessions at a local leisure centre or to be ferried there in teachers' cars.  Its favourite trick was to refuse to engage the starter motor when full of impatient children and a stressed-out teacher behind the wheel.  We had a new teacher take us out in it who got in a bit of a flap when all she could get from it when the key was turned was a 'click'.  This went on for a few minutes before she frantically hailed a passing teacher for help and was told 'oh, you have to smile at it'.  She put on her best beaming smile for it and it started instantly to much cheering from the passengers.


When a new one was brought in in 2000 (a very, very late 'W' reg smiley diesel one) I think it got used as a van for a while.  It was last seen sat outside the reception building in a large puddle of its own oil before being spotted a couple of hours later being driven off in an enormous cloud of blue smoke.

#57 OFFLINE   sporty-shite



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Posted 22 September 2015 - 09:22 PM

Primary school, the few I remember were:


Head teacher, Mr Nuttall: Dolomite Sprint

Miss Makinson ( I think) MG 1300

Miss Hanley: Honda CB400

Mrs  Reeves: Mr Bean-spec Mini


High school:

Mr Harding (deputy head) Volvo 240 GLT

Mrs Fleming (MILF games teacher) XR2

Mr Woods (beardy geography hippy) Mk1 Golf


In sixth form, I had my RD80LC, then after I passed my driving test, I had an N10 Datsun Cherry Coupe which I sold to finance a Mk1 Fiesta 1300s.

My mate had a 120A coupe. 


Those, indeed, were the days. 

 some potato headed fanny faced shitberg of a cunt in a silver hatchback


#58 ONLINE   brownnova


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 10:21 PM

Primary(early-mid 90s) Reception teacher Mrs Parker had a Morris Minor Traveller that she'd had since nearly new, it was a slightly ropey old thing! Headmistress Mrs Atchison had an R8 Rover, and my Y6 teacher Mr Thornett had a white Passat B3. I remember my excitement even as a young'un when a supply teacher arrived in a 70s French estate which I had never seen before... But now I can't remember what it was...
1985 Citroen 2CV Special - French fun
1990 Mazda Eunos - Noisy Fun
1992 Fiat Ducato Autosleeper Rambler GL - Camp Fun
1996 Saab 9000 CSE - Project Saab fun
1997 Saab 9000 CSE - Daily Saab fun
2003 Peugeot 206 - Her daily... but not fun and not here anymore

#59 OFFLINE   RichardK


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Posted 22 September 2015 - 10:28 PM

Mr Cunliffe (PE): Metro Turbo


Tell me he lived to regret his last name. Getting a PE teacher with a name like that is a gift; if you kids didn't take it you're all in detention.

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#60 OFFLINE   Ghosty



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Posted 23 September 2015 - 12:02 AM

The teachers in our high school art department had:


kippered 205 CJ (cabrio) with 306 wheels and gaffertaped roof (assistant, always wore paint splattered overalls)

306 GTi6 (quirky tweed jacket bloke)

Mk5 Fiesta Ghia (an old woman)

Volvo 440 saloon full of flowery cushions (hippie)

Chrysler Crossfire coupé (a usually quiet but sometimes very loud woman, very slim and always wore black, short dyed black hair, black eyeshadow etc. Head of art iirc, classy art nouveaux type. Crossfire was also black and I'm fairly certain it was bought because they looked a bit art deco-y).


Art teachers always had shit cars in my experience - when I was in primary school the art teacher had a very shabby sad face Fiesta Ghia that had somehow acquired an old Cortina dartboard steel when the car wsan't even 10 years old.


An '80s Merc SL appeared sometimes but I don't know whose it was.

Someone had a Volvo V70 that was out of tax but used daily.

Head of geography (or was it Physics?) had a poverty Proton Satria...

My geography teacher had a Fiat Ulysse.


There was a very odd biology teacher who was short, bald, very strict and very loud, always dressed in waistcoats and was also a proctor. Younger kids were scared of him, but he was something of a joke amongst the older students, especially after his ridiculous driving glasses came to light. Drove an E46 convertible, seemed to cherish it. On one of the sixth form leaving days (always prank central - once a class moved an entire classroom into the foundatons below it through a door in the floor), someone put a load of dog shit on the roof. He went bonkers.


Headmaster had a Bini...


I tried really hard to make that interesting, I don't think it worked.

  • HMC and cros like this

1994 Volvo 850 T5 - brittle plastic turbo bikewagon

1991 Honda Civic GL - JDM kettle

2009 Mini Cooper S - Mother Ghosty's




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