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Automotive bull5hit facts thread


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1354 replies to this topic

#1321 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 01:29 AM

The Toyota Hilux driven by Entwhistle in Last of the Summer Wine which has carried actors such as Peter Sallis, Frank Thornton and Brian Murphy was retained in storage by the BBC following Burt Kwouks death, and later used by Clarkson in Top Gears Hilux tests.

It was successfully sold as a wreck to Aardman Animations as part of their Peter Sallis (voice of Wallis) memorial exhibition and receives over a hundred thousand Japanese visitors a year at their Bristol HQ.
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#1322 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 10:27 AM

The Vauxhall VX4-90 was Marty Hopkirks car and following his death became a ghost car.

Jeff was the only one who could see it which was great for avoiding parking fines but made servicing and repairs at his local Vauxhall dealer impossible
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#1323 OFFLINE   xtriple

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 03:26 PM

Mercedes Benz don't put transmission oil dipsticks on their cars to make you go to the dealership to be fleeced for thousands when you want to check your oil level.



#1324 OFFLINE   sierraman

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 03:33 PM

It is impossible to DIY any repairs or servicing on any car made after 1990. Under the bonnet there is just a big microchip. You must throw all your tools away and take it to an authorised dealer to carry out any repairs. Fail to do this and you will be greeted by Elon Musk at the gates of hell.
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#1325 OFFLINE   sierraman

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 03:34 PM

The Morris Traveller was created due to a shortage of sheet metal during the post war years. Morris found it was cheaper to hand make a timer frame to be fitted instead.

#1326 OFFLINE   sierraman

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 03:35 PM

On LHD cara the accelerator and clutch as the opposite way round.
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#1327 OFFLINE   sierraman

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 03:36 PM

The Honda VTEC is so sophisticated it can be run anticlockwise so you effectively have 5 reverse gears.
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#1328 OFFLINE   Paul Dupart

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 03:42 PM

Bronze tinted windows were invented when a guy at the Triplex Works accidentally knocked his mug of strong tea into a vat of molten glass.


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#1329 OFFLINE   VicN

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 03:55 PM

Mercedes Benz don't put transmission oil dipsticks on their cars to make you go to the dealership to be fleeced for thousands when you want to check your oil level.


Point of order!

That's not bullshit, it's true.
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#1330 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 08:10 PM

If Paul Young leaves his hat in your vehicle, it automatically becomes his fixed abode. This also applies to buses and trams, not to mention coffee shops.

As a result Paul Young owns a significant number of cars in the UK and new HPI checks review if a car has been stolen, crashed, has outstanding HP or is owned by Paul Young.

Sadly because so many millions of people have heard the song and not challenged it, it is now English Law. A song by Guns and Roses entitled “there is no statute in law to claim ownership over property through mere hat installation” would have been enough to overturn the rule but delays to the Chinese Democracy album meant that the song was released three weeks after a deadline.

So if you return to your car to find a hat on it, and Paul Young standing nearby with a grin on his face there is fuck all you can do.
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#1331 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 08:16 PM

On LHD cara the accelerator and clutch as the opposite way round.

 

This used to be true* for motorbikes too.

 

 

*for a given value of true



#1332 OFFLINE   Paul Dupart

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 09:57 PM

If Paul Young leaves his hat in your vehicle, it automatically becomes his fixed abode. This also applies to buses and trams, not to mention coffee shops.

 

 

 

And as soon as his back is turned it will then be burgled by celebrity chef Gino D'Acampo



#1333 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 13 June 2018 - 10:20 PM

Paul Young cannot take your car if it is French registered. Having already stated via the medium of multi platinum album “No parlez” he has no understanding of the French language therefore any claims over recently imported Renault 14’s are null and void. Or some shit like like that.

In other musical car interfaces, the original line of “Raspberry Beret” was written by Prince after a visit to Tesco Metro in Ruthin, North Wales. He had been round a mates house to help him move a Piano when they fancied a Pot Noodle.

Prince nipped out in his hire Fiesta to find no spaces were available because a BMW has taken up two spaces. While tutting a local girl in a red hat came out to the car, flicked him a V and drove off. And that was the inspiration for the opening line of that song.

Prince had Chicken and Mushroom and his mate Steve had Beef and Tomato. Well they were about the only flavours around back then.

See - totally historically accurate in every way. And you can’t prove this didn’t happen!
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#1334 OFFLINE   Norbert

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:10 AM

On LHD cara the accelerator and clutch as the opposite way round.


When I drove a LHD Twingo (in the UK), the amount of people I spoke to who actually assumed that was the case was unreal.

#1335 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:11 AM

I've known people who are convinced the gears swap too, so 1st is on the right.



#1336 OFFLINE   Justin Case

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:21 AM

I've known people who are convinced the gears swap too, so 1st is on the right.

Our 1936 Guy ambulance has this arrangement, known as a 'Chinese  gearbox' as it shares this layout with all Chinese cars. In fact Longbridge's sole function now is to change round the gears on MG3s to make them acceptable to the UK market.


I tried to deny the existence of Ohm's Law, but I met too much resistance.

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#1337 OFFLINE   rml2345

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 09:25 AM

LHD cars are of course a complete mirror opposite of proper RHD ones, right down to 'Airbag' being written "gabriA' on the steering wheel and the speedometer working anticlockwise.
  • John F, Paul Dupart, Ghosty and 1 other like this
Current Wheels;
1994 Volvo 850 GLT Saloon (Twice)
Previous Wheels;
2003 Peugeot 406 HDi Saloon
2003 Rover 75 CDT Connoisseur Saloon
2003 Toyota "Leyland" Yaris T Spirit (Three times)
2002 Mitsubishi Carisma DI-D (Blob)
2001 Rover 75 CDT Tourer (Clover)
2000 Rover 75 CDT Saloon
2000 Honda Accord SE Executive
1996 Citroën Xantia Dimension (Les Hamper des Bisquites)
1996 Volvo 940 SE Turbo Estate (Beeb)
1993 Citroën AX Neon (Les Tin des Bisquites)
1994 Volvo 850 SE Saloon
1989 Volvo 740 GLE Saloon
1988 Volvo 740 GL Saloon (Telly)

#1338 OFFLINE   clayts450

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 10:33 AM

Due to legislation imposed on local authority by a little known amendment in 2015 to the Health & Safety At Work Etc Act 1974, all traffic wardens are now fully trained in Tae Kwon Do and, as a side benefit, are now also fluent in Korean.


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Current

2001 Rover 45 V6 Connie; 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser Limited CRD2004 Rover Streetwise S

 

Historical choddage 1986-1998 (stopped driving 1999-2016)
1969 VW Beetle 1300;  1977 Morris Marina 1.3 Super; 1983 Skoda Estelle 120L; Rover Metro; Vauxhall CorsaVauxhall Cavalier 


#1339 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 10:57 AM

Hyundai’s are built in North Korea, but Kia’s are built in the South which explains the slightly longer warranty for what is essentially the same car.
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#1340 OFFLINE   John F

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 11:51 AM

In an emergency, the Daihatsu Move can actually move.


Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

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'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#1341 OFFLINE   John F

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 11:58 AM

The Toyota Coaster minibus was originally designed as a mobile cooking facility for north American canine roadkill (as the spoonerism of its name suggests), but ultimately proved more successful as a small urban mass transit solution.

 

1920px-2001-2007_Toyota_Coaster_bus_01.j


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Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

'97 Land Rover Discovery 300 TDi

'94 Vauxhall Calibra V6
'91 Maserati 222 SE

'88 Yamaha XJ900F

'86 Honda CBX 750F
'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#1342 OFFLINE   John F

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 12:17 PM

On LHD cara the accelerator and clutch as the opposite way round.

 

You already posted that, back in 2015 :-D

 

 

Left hand drive cars have the pedals the other way round.

The original Golf GTI was designed by Bob Hoskins during a row with Bob Carolgees on a cross channel ferry about Russian Tractors. He drew it upside down initially, then by some fate he posted it to Volkswagen, who ended up paying him something like £14.60 for the rights to build it. He went on to have a bit part in a few films here and there.

Its also a fact they made a factory Ford Granada RS, by welding together two Kent engines, side by side in the engine bay with a Four Wheel Drive system designed by Keith Chegwin. It was capable of 0-60 in 6.9 seconds and was recorded at an indicated 143mph on the A38 just outside Taunton by a the band who went on to be known as Texas. Then a mate of mines dad had it and swapped it for 16 lengths of tongue and groove and a Russell Hobbs Iron.

Fact.


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Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

'97 Land Rover Discovery 300 TDi

'94 Vauxhall Calibra V6
'91 Maserati 222 SE

'88 Yamaha XJ900F

'86 Honda CBX 750F
'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#1343 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 06:29 PM

The visibility of a vehicle to other road users is inversely proportional to it's size, manoeuvrability and when travelling on a single track road how for it is back to the last passing point.
Lorry builders are aware of this hence the inclusion of sleeper cabs for the unfortunate driver to have a bit of sleep whilst the Fiat 500 driver eventually realises it will be easier for them to reverse 30 feet into a passing space rather than the 40t Artic reverse 2 miles down a mountain round several hairpin bends.

#1344 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 06:37 PM

The prototype of the rotary engined maxi was deemed so far ahead of it's time that it was buried in a time capsule with instructions for it to be unearthed when the world was ready for 100mpg and instant performance. Sadly upon the demise of the parent group the instructions were lost and the land sold for development. It is believed this one of a kind vehicle now lies under a 3 bed semi.
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#1345 OFFLINE   Paul Dupart

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 07:21 PM

Hydrogen Maxi's are the future..



#1346 OFFLINE   Justin Case

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 07:42 PM

Hydrogen Maxi's are the future..

True, they were, but not now since the plug in diesel hybrid version has been perfected


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I tried to deny the existence of Ohm's Law, but I met too much resistance.

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#1347 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:07 PM

The Cabriolet gets it names from "cabree" meaning Cargo and "lait" for Milk.

Farmers used to take their cows from the field to the milking sheds one at a time in the family car. They realised by cutting the roof off they could get up to six cows in at once, stacked on top of each other, making the milking sessions much shorter.


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#1348 OFFLINE   HarmonicCheeseburger

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:10 PM

The DS mode on N-Cvt's is for use only when wearing a garlic bread on your head and chasing an MX5.


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#1349 OFFLINE   Tamworthbay

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 08:14 PM

The Cabriolet gets it names from "cabree" meaning Cargo and "lait" for Milk.
Farmers used to take their cows from the field to the milking sheds one at a time in the family car. They realised by cutting the roof off they could get up to six cows in at once, stacked on top of each other, making the milking sessions much shorter.

I thought it was a bastardised form of Cadbury-lay, where fat birds in Birmingham would shag you for a chocolate bar, but you needed a car without a roof to fit their lardy arses in.
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#1350 OFFLINE   New POD

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Posted 14 June 2018 - 10:11 PM

Talking of chocolate: Bourneville in Birmingham, is home of Cadbury World, set up by Quaker,  Joseph Roundtree, 

Joseph Lucas (who would preach to his staff from halfway up the stairs at his home Hilver in Mosley, - later a management study centre for Lucas Industries PLC, where even managers were expected to share a room if they stayed on a residential course) was also a Quaker. too. 

It's no conincidence that both Were called Joseph because they were cousins.  What is not certain is why their other business empire building Cousin was Called Herbert Austin which is not at all a biblical name.  Some History books may suggest his name was Morris WOLSELEY and that he was in fact a Australian sheep shearing machine repair technician, but no. He was from Northfield and later died of a chocolate induced heart attack in his Garden in his house in the Lickey Hills.  His Cousins - the 2 Josephs failed to go to his Funeral because one was in the middle of an Oats Crisis, which stopped production of his world famous Breakfast for some months, due to an electrical failure of the 12V lighting system in his factory, and the other was too busy faking his own death from Typhoid in Naples.  After his death he changed his name to Marcel Môme and founded SAGEM (Société d’Applications Générales de l’Électricité et de la Mécanique, translated as "Company of General Applications of Electricity and Mechanics") where he designed the electronics for the Espace and Laguna.  Unfortunately it was later found that whilst Chocolate is a good insulator at room temperature, it actually is as clever as a Chocolate tea pot, and explains the unexplainable faults on a French KanBus system. 






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