Princess Diana, a life in cars

[Karmann Ghiaman]

"What are you doing with all those Princess Diana books?" my wife asked suspiciously.

"I am going to post something about her up on Autoshite," I replied truthfully.

"Haven't you got anything better to do?"

No. And that was a bit rich coming from someone who spends much of her valuable time watching Eastenders, Corrie, I'm a Celebrity get me out of here, X Factor, Strictly, etc., etc.

Anyway, I noticed that much classic shite is to be found in old pictures of our tragic England's Rose...

 

It all began at West Heath "School", where the young Diana didn't get no education, but could gaze in awe upon these beauties:

 

My guess is that they were the teachers' cars, because the Upper Class parents of kids at a school like that would never be seen dead in such stuff.

 

Leaving school without any discernible qualifications, Diana got a "job" toughening up her fellow-scions of the aristocracy. For example, pushing them over cobblestones:

 

All the while she was no doubt admiring the interesting cars parked in the South Kensington/Sloane Square area. (Little Rupert is now, thanks to his early cobblestone training, busy killing Talibs in Helmand Province).

 

Diana was loyal to the British car industry and Daddy bought her a Metro!

 

Remember those innocent days when registration plates and children's faces didn't have to be censored out? At least Lady Di then never omitted to enclose her magnificent embonpoint in a seat belt:

 

 

Possessing the remarkable combination of being an Earl's daughter (of whom there were only seven in England at the time), AND a virgin over the age of 18 (of whom there were far less), Diana was deemed a suitable fiance for Chazza (or His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales if you are my 86-year old father). She began to be pestered by the Fourth Estate, i.e. journalists:

 

These hacks later made up the word papparazzi to make it look as if their scummier element were all foreign. A glance at any British newspaper will prove that this is not really the case.

 

Sometimes the gentlemen of the Press hung around near shite-to-die-for:

 

 

Lady Diana was obliged to employ lookalikes to put them off the scent...

 

It didn't work, as they all went shopping in Harvey Nicks while the real Diana was obviously the one who had to visit Tetbury.

 

 

Still driving British, now giving the detective a lift. She was presented with many bouquets which had to be stuffed in the boot...

 

...a tragic forerunner of all those flowers that were to be showered upon her after her death! (But strangely, NOBODY KNEW at the time).

 

When the Royal Wedding took place, many tasteful souvenirs were produced, including this one which will be of interest to shitehawks:

 

I don't think this is because she had had a Metro; that was just a coincidence.

 

As the full horror of being married into the Royal Family began to dawn upon Diana, at least she was able to upgrade her wheels somewhat:

 

Fuck the British car industry, she thought, I'm having some serious Vorsprung durch Teknik.

 

Unfortunately she was pestered more & more by those Wank-artists from Wapping:

 

It never occurred to her, not having read a word of Tolstoy, that if her life had been happy they'd have left her alone. She let them know that she was very unhappy, and THAT made her interesting. Even the most innocuous journey in the Audi proved grist to their mill:

 

 

Fascinating stuff, eh?

 

Developments in telephoto lens technology reduced the Princess's privacy still further...

 

 

 

Sometimes she still drove herself:

 

 

Sometimes they drove her and she sat in the back:

 

At least she was remembering her seat belt!

 

Sadly, she and Charles proved totally incompatible and they had to get divorced. At least the Fayeds still had a yacht.

 

It would be in very bad taste to show any pictures of the crash in which the Princess, Dodi & drunken French driver lost their lives.

 

A somewhat surreal funeral was swiftly held.

 

Her final journey to be buried by her unspeakable brother in the grounds of a house which she had always hated as a child:

 

 

No doubt there are all sorts of morals to be derived from this sad story. Personally, I did learn one thing from Princess Diana. I always wear a seatbelt wherever I'm sitting, driver or passenger, in any car, however short the journey.

 

Happy Christmas holidays everybody!

[retrogeezer]

Good work there!We had a yellow Polo like the on in the 1st pic.....wish it had been the Scirocco - would love one of those.

[pogweasel]

I continue to be brimmed with bile and vitriol towards 'the peoples princess', who IMO got her just desserts, but can we leave it at that, no we fucking can't, because otherwise the Daily Mail/Express would have even less to write about (other than house price crash and polish plumbers destroying society). : Twatting twat in life, twatting twat in death, fucking fountains, memorials, national outpourings of grief, Mohammed Al-Fayed, blah blah blah. Although nice to see the Renault 20 in the pic there.

[Richard]

I believe it was the great philosopher Weller who said "The public get what the public want", and unfortunately all evidence points towards this being what the public want...

 

[Mr H Sceptre]

Top skills there Mr KG!Must admit, i also thought that thhe so called 'Queen of Hearts' got everything she deserved. I still hate her.

[155V6]

You'd of thought her Dad would of bought her an MG or VDP Metro

[Karmann Ghiaman]

You'd of thought her Dad would of bought her an MG or VDP Metro

I reckon she'd passed her test in a Metro, so that was what she thought of as 'a car'.

 

Apparently her sons had to go to Eton, 'cos she had no other concept of a 'boys' school' (Fact!)

 

Glad that Renner cheered old pogweasel up a bit.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I dunno what everyones probelm is with the PoW. I aint got a shrine to her in my house or owt but shes never done me any harm! I got one of those Corgi commemorative Metros in a purple box when they cme out, I must have been about 5. I left it on a fuggin fruit stall about 1/2 hour after me mam got it for us! What a twat.

[Guest greenvanman]

I continue to be brimmed with bile and vitriol towards 'the peoples princess', who IMO got her just desserts, but can we leave it at that, no we fucking can't, because otherwise the Daily Mail/Express would have even less to write about (other than house price crash and polish plumbers destroying society). : Twatting twat in life, twatting twat in death, fucking fountains, memorials, national outpourings of grief, Mohammed Al-Fayed, blah blah blah. Although nice to see the Renault 20 in the pic there.

Must admit, i also thought that thhe so called 'Queen of Hearts' got everything she deserved.

^^^^ What they said. I'm slightly worried by anyone who feels they need to keep a Princess Diana scrapbook but it takes all sorts I suppose.

[Ratdat]

Loosely linked to this, didn't Renault do a royal wedding commerative edition of the R14 called a Regency? I'm sure I've read something about it before.

[Guest greenvanman]

Loosely linked to this, didn't Renault do a royal wedding commerative edition of the R14 called a Regency? I'm sure I've read something about it before.

And lo!

 

[pogweasel]

I I have got a massive shrine to her in my house

Edited for accuracy.

[reallyloud]

no we fucking can't, because otherwise the Daily Mail/Express would have even less to write about (other than house price crash and polish plumbers destroying society)

And Madeline Mccann and their need to destroy her family.

 

That Metro is alive and well living at the Coventry Transport Museum. Another reason for pog to froth with rage.

 

[Guest greenvanman]

I & I have got a massive shrine to her in my house

Edited for accuracy.

Is Mr Bollox a rasta then?

[pogweasel]

ssssst, bamba clart.

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Don't worry folks, Anne will always be the Princess Royal of Shite:

 

[hotford00]

I believe it was the great philosopher Weller who said "The public get what the public want", and unfortunately all evidence points towards this being what the public want...

 

And I thought Weller only produced wheels and some reasonable music, silly me

[Torsten2001]

I continue to be brimmed with bile and vitriol towards 'the peoples princess', who IMO got her just desserts, but can we leave it at that, no we fucking can't, because otherwise the Daily Mail/Express would have even less to write about (other than house price crash and polish plumbers destroying society). : Twatting twat in life, twatting twat in death, fucking fountains, memorials, national outpourings of grief, Mohammed Al-Fayed, blah blah blah. Although nice to see the Renault 20 in the pic there.

Great Renner!I'll always be sad about a mothers death, she was certainly no better than anyone elses mother but to honest despite her tragic death and unhappy life she never had to worry about paying the gas bill so bollox to her. I do remember the day of her funeral as a great day to bomb down to Cardiff to pick up a Bown moped, sod all traffic and sod all on the radio 'cept her sodding funeral.

[Ross_K]

Fuck the British car industry, she thought, I'm having some serious Vorsprung durch Teknik.

Quite apt really, considering they're all descended from a bunch of inbred Germans?

[Rocket88]

I can never forgive the maudling bitch for single handedly resurrecting the career of that other old queen. Mr E John, who hadn't made a decent record since Benny and the Jets, but managed to enveigle himself back into the public's affection with that f*cking awful Candle in the Wind re-draft. For that alone, she deserves no sympathy.

[Mr Lobster]

that f*cking awful Candle in the Wind re-draft. For that alone, she deserves no sympathy.

"And it seems to me, you died your death 'cos you didn't buckle in"

 

 

Some nice shite there. Can't say I particularl liked the woman although she may have been lovely, who knows? She just did too much bleating on about how hard done to she was, I mean FFS, come live in the real world for a bit first love.

[ashmicro]

Tenuous link, but here's the future King visiting my workplace: (front left)

 

Serious Security, although he was pretty safe in eastern Northern Ireland:

 

 

 

To give the man his dues, he spoke to everyone, engineers, managers canteen staff and cleaners. I resisted the urge to ask "Why'd you climb over Diana to get at that Rottweiler?"

 

In fairness, my cousin ( 2 Para) met Camilla and said she was a right laugh, and really nice.

[ashmicro]

Chelsea fans:"And it seems to methat you lived your lifelike a poofter in a wig"Nuff said.

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Must admit I was careful not to say anything too rude about Diana, as some people can get very hot under the collar on such subjects. My wife got into dreadful trouble at her work just after Diana's death when she pointed out that the dead Princess was a selfish narcissist who had only had four holidays that year... Me, I stuck up for Diana at my work, saying "She was part of everybody's life.""Yeah, like velcro," observed a witty colleague.Anyway, I hope Charles & Camilla are happy together. He's not terribly bright, but has had a lot of crap in his life. It must have been so much more worrying back in Medieval times when you realised that your inept idiot prince was one day going to have to have a go at being a real ruler wielding real power...

[Guest greenvanman]

He's not terribly bright

Maybe, but he's brain surgeon material compared to the rest of them.

[Owain-328i]

 

similar to what ive got sitting outside the house. Didnt think she had an e36

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Tenuous link, but here's the future King visiting my workplace: (front left)

 

Were you one of the snipers?

[Justin Case]

I can never forgive the maudling bitch for single handedly resurrecting the career of that other old queen. Mr E John, who hadn't made a decent record since Benny and the Jets, but managed to enveigle himself back into the public's affection with that f*cking awful Candle in the Wind re-draft. For that alone, she deserves no sympathy.

I can never forgive the public for letting such a has-been exploit the death of another human being by digging up and recycling some dirge about a film star who had even less talent than him.But was she that bad? Royalty visiting the area always land their helicopters in the park just round the corner from us, and Mrs A sometimes pops over to see the entertainment. Princess Di spoke to some of the small crowd, even though there were no tv crews to hand, and gave a friendly wave as she was driven off. On the other hand Princess Sourpuss (of Scimitar fame) didn't even look at the (even smaller) crowd before she piled into her armoured Range Rover and pissed off at high speed Perhaps myth has overtaken reality.

[Owain-328i]

[Karmann Ghiaman]

It occurs to me that a lesser car than an armoured Mercedes might have blown up in that tunnel, creating a fireball which could have killed dozens of other people.The sad truth is that Mohammed Fayed was entirely responsible for what happened, because he hired the wretched, incompetent Henry Paul. Diana had also, foolishly, refused to continue with proper Royal Protection Squad security - who would not have allowed a drunken idiot to drive. But I feel sorry for Fayed losing his son, and for the Royal princes losing their mother.