Swedish wardrobe removal system (Warning modernish volvo)

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Good day all

 

Thought it was about time I posted some pics up of my lovely V70. Yes it's a modern one, being a 2000 and all (first of the P2) but don't worry, there's a lot of shite going on here.

 

With an MOT looming, I had got a bit bored of my Mk3 mondeo. 'Twas the TDDi variety so mechanically fairly bomb proof. But the rear quarter was a mess of rust, the logbook said something along the lines of "OMG previous serious accident repair" and it was generally a bit shabby and not worthy of spending any more hard earned on.

 

Off it went and with some cold hard cash I started looking for a replacement, I don't do big miles but fancied a bit of space and comfort when I spotted this:

 

 

Took it a drive, the wife liked the extra seats in the boot and the fact it looks presentable, something the mondeo was nowhere near. £700 was handed over and away we went. So what did we end up with?

 

2.4 straight 5 with a monstrous* 140bhp married to a manual box. Full black leather, extra seats in the boot, everything works. Was pretty chuffed, nice motah etc.

 

Didn't have time to clean it, took it into work to much amusement from the lads - "he's bought a dogging wagon" was the common opinion.

 

However it turned out I HAD bought a dogging wagon. We found high heels puncture marks (I'm guessing) in the headlining, red lipstick and nail polish marks everywhere and about ten packets of condoms hidden all over the car.

 

So first stop was my mates to borrow his fancy Vax carpet cleaner thing, a full day was spent cleaning the inside and it added AT LEAST 50p to the value of the car, much fresher place to sit, have a peek yerself:

 

 

 

After that it was time to sort out the squealing noise coming from the passenger rear wheel. Noticed it was red hot here as well, no prizes for guessing which pad is the new one:

 

 

Discs weren't great (you don't say) so they got replaced:

 

 

I replaced the brake shoes while I was in there, they looked fine but I've heard horror stories about them delaminating and buggering the hubs. They were an absolute pig of a job too, bloody springs are a nightmare to get back on (probably not helped by using new super tight springs)

 

After that the outside got a bit of a clean, there's no rust (are these galvanised, I seem to remember reading something like that) and apart from a few car parking dings it's pretty straight. I especially love the giffer spec alloys, they look a lot more old school Volvo than the facelift wheels available.

 

 

So that was fine, she got a service and away we went. Done a few long trips, holiday to Donegal etc not a drop of oil or water used so I was happy. Bit of a rattle from the centre pipe on the exhaust, from this amazing* looking mount:

 

 

Bought this solution but haven't bothered fitting it yet:

 

 

We have a shite spec caravan (1989 swift corvette), so a towbar was required. It was cheaper to have a new one shipped over from Poland than mainland UK so this arrived:

 

 

Bolted to the car, all went on easily enough:

 

 

Bumper back on and swan neck bolted on

 

 

Volvo helpfully locate a multi plug in the boot for plugging OEM towbar wiring in - I just soldered on a universal two socket wiring kit. Helpfully the battery is in the boot so a nice easy neat job for once

 

 

 

And another TADA! Finished job picture

 

 

Worryingly it sticks further out than other UK towbars I've seen but it's secure and everything is in the correct place, I just think the Polish swan neck is a bit long.

 

In the meantime friends of ours had borrowed the caravan, and I nipped down to collect it. On the trip home with the van on the back the car seemed to run a bit hotter and there was a nasty burnt oil smell floating about.

 

Got home and found the rear camshaft oil seal had failed, thankfully this is an easy fix, this is the new seal pressed into place from the outside

 

 

This could be due to the PCV system needing overhauled, creating positive pressure and blowing the oil seals. The rubber glove over the dipstick trick shows vacuum so I'll leave it for now.

 

Because I was busy at work the MOT lapsed and the car has sat since the end of August.

 

I rebuilt the rear calipers as they were sticking and noticed the flexi hoses were perished so bought a couple of those.

 

The old one on the drivers side was seized to the union with the steel brake line, so I cut the rubber bit off to get a socket on. Things went from bad to worse when the spanner on the union slipped and I managed to twist the metal pipe. GR7.

 

So it looks like I'll be replacing some of the metal pipe. Thankfully I have some spare copper pipe etc from doing my brother's Skoda Felicia.

 

Question is do I cut the existing metal pipe and splice in a section of copper, or Do I replace the whole metal pipe - probably the CORRECT option but can I be arsed?

 

What will actually happen is I will waste an evening completely failing to do a decent flare on the metal pipe and conclude the whole line should be replaced. Then I'll end up having to do exactly the same thing on the other side. Bugger.

 

I see people here like lists so for the MOT I need to do the following:

 

Replace the brake line

 

Fit the reconditioned calipers

 

Fit the flexi lines

 

Bleed the system

 

Adjust the handbrake

 

Replace the oil/filter

 

Clean the car

 

Actually doesn't sound too bad. Does keep raining though. And it's got cold, plus there's biscuits and tea in the house. Hmm.......

[mat_the_cat]

I'd just splice in a new length of pipe, unless it's a pretty short length or the rest of it looks on the way out too. Chances are anything out of direct line of the wheel arch will be fine though.

[DSdriver]

Check the breather pipes if the camshaft seal blew. I seem to recall being told that gunge blocked pipes can pressurise the engine. Carb cleaner for the win.

Lovely car by the way.

[vulgalour]

Is Belfast in Scotland now?

 

 

Ace introductory post to your carriage too.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Cheers guys it's amazing how much car you can buy for under a grand nowadays. In fact it's amazing how much car you can get for less than half that but there's another topic!

 

I'll probably just splice the pipe in, limiting factor being the mega crap cheapo flare tool I have - it'll do a decent* flare in the shed on the vice, under the car might be more fun.

 

Most of the breathing system requires removal of the inlet manifold to get at so I'll wait till post MOT for that (insert generic lazy reason here)

 

Oh and Belfast was accidentally given to the scots after the referendum fell over. If you've ever been to Larne it's pretty much part of Scotland with a bit of water in the way anyway

[brickwall]

These look so good. Enough to make a Scotsman's knees wobbly.

[rml2345]

Ooooooooooooh a posh Volvo estate! Secretly I reckon these are bloody handsome things and that looks a good one. I think we could extend Scotoshite Volvo Massiv membership to Northern Ireland for a bit.

[dollywobbler]

These look so good. Enough to make a Scotsman's knees wobbly.

 

And mine. I've always considered these a very attractive car, though I find the S60 saloon very appealing also. Drove a D5 a few years back. Very nice, though the dashboard looked like elephant skin.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

They do use very odd interior plastics - the dash especially, a blend of elephant skin and lots of big rubber and plastic buttons. It's the automotive equivalent of those phones with big buttons for giffers.

 

The S60 and s80 are nice too, you'd probably pay twice as much for the equivalent German

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Came across this earlier, Richard Hammond reviewing the V70 and Saab 9-5 estate Swedish overload

 

[DVee8]

Nice work fella lovin the doggin wagon

good write up. Now that you are the Irish arm of the SVM.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Nice work fella lovin the doggin wagon

good write up. Now that you are the Irish arm of the SVM.

I'm assuming that ranks up there as a sort of shite knighthood (shitehood?)

 

I am honoured of course

[brickwall]

And mine. I've always considered these a very attractive car, though I find the S60 saloon very appealing also. Drove a D5 a few years back. Very nice, though the dashboard looked like elephant skin.

 

 

I think they're  the best looking estate cars ever. The bonus being that they actually have estate model purpose as opposed to 'tourer' looks with no ficking space.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

I think they're the best looking estate cars ever. The bonus being that they actually have estate model purpose as opposed to 'tourer' looks with no ficking space.

You get the impression Volvo do the opposite of most manufacturers and design the estate first then work out how to make it a saloon

[Noel Tidybeard]

there's nothing honourable about the svm- there are a thieving bunch of wotsits who keep nicking all the ovlovs

[Noel Tidybeard]

You get the impression Volvo do the opposite of most manufacturers and design the estate first then work out how to make it a saloon

you can almost picture the scene- sven with a chainsaw looking at a carved up estate and saying no that looks wrong lets cut up another

[Minimad5]

Welcome to the world of Volvo ownership !

I have the P2 facelift version (2005) V70, with a troublesome but great (when working) D5 engine.

 

Any signs of Dash failure ? These have a habit of suddenly going black, but a quick look on the Volvo forum, will yield tonnes of info and suggested places to sort it out.

 

Good luck & nice 'Mota'

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Welcome to the world of Volvo ownership !

I have the P2 facelift version (2005) V70, with a troublesome but great (when working) D5 engine.

 

Any signs of Dash failure ? These have a habit of suddenly going black, but a quick look on the Volvo forum, will yield tonnes of info and suggested places to sort it out.

 

Good luck & nice 'Mota'

Funny you should mention this - a few times the dash has failed completely while driving along which is quite alarming. The indicators stop working when this happens too.

 

It goes away if you switch the car off for 10 or 15 minutes then sometimes doesn't happen again for days or weeks.

 

I've kind of ignored it for now fearing it'll bankrupt me in obscure coded dash modules or something

[Minimad5]

It's something silly like £80 - £100.

Just you have to send your clocks off (whole binnacle) something like DIM or DIN, i forget.

But it's not dead expensive anyway.

[Bren]

Cheers guys it's amazing how much car you can buy for under a grand nowadays. In fact it's amazing how much car you can get for less than half that but there's another topic!

I'll probably just splice the pipe in, limiting factor being the mega crap cheapo flare tool I have - it'll do a decent* flare in the shed on the vice, under the car might be more fun.

Most of the breathing system requires removal of the inlet manifold to get at so I'll wait till post MOT for that (insert generic lazy reason here)

Oh and Belfast was accidentally given to the scots after the referendum fell over. If you've ever been to Larne it's pretty much part of Scotland with a bit of water in the way anyway

You are spot on in regards what £1k will get you.

 

Problem is on this side of the water people want 50mpg, FSH, a warranty and weekly payments for their £1k.

[Bren]

These are quite nice to drive, however I did find the normally aspirated 5 pot a bit flat.

 

Good buy though.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

These are quite nice to drive, however I did find the normally aspirated 5 pot a bit flat.

 

Good buy though.

Flat as a pancake but rolls along nicely once you get going. A turbo would be nice but I'm averaging 30mpg (managed 35mpg on holiday!) and it's not so slow you consider ending it all, I've had cars where on a long motorway run it seems a viable option to aim for the Armco just for a bit of excitement.

 

There's no point revving beyond about 4k - nothing really happens up there - the 170 version comes on song a big at this point and given the only difference between the 140 and 170 is the map on the ecu (and the gear ratios) a remap is said to release almost 180 horses. Not that I'll bother with all that malarkey

[rml2345]

you can almost picture the scene- sven with a chainsaw looking at a carved up estate and saying no that looks wrong lets cut up another

 

I think that's how they styled the 700 saloon as it looks exactly like an estate with part of the rear end sawn off. 

[cms206]

there's nothing honourable about the svm- there are a thieving bunch of wotsits who keep nicking all the ovlovs

SLANDER! We at the SVM (incorporating the SVMNI) are a force for good in a world of decadent curves.

 

I've been eyeing these V70s up for a while, one of these is definitely on my shopping list.

 

Welcome!

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Time for a quick and dirty update.

 

Firstly I found some pics of the ropey disc I took off the car:

 

 

 

Annnnd here is the bit of brake pipe I mangled through ham-fistedness

 

 

I cut a section off from behind the fuel tank, there's a nice straight run here so was easy to splice in to, I'll get a picture of the amazing* repair up soon. I even done that thing where you flare the pipe then notice you haven't slipped the union on first.....

Good news for me was the standard pipes clearly aren't steel, they are easy to work with, easy to bend, cut and flare.

Bad news is my flare tool is one of those mega cheap ones, the flares are ok and the joints aren't leaking under pressure but at some point id like to buy a decent flare tool and do them again.

 

I'll get a picture of all this soon.

 

I also found pics of the brake shoes I replaced when I done the discs:

 

 

 

Think its fair to say this car hasn't had much love for a while.

 

So I started bleeding the brakes, got all the air out of one rear caliper and just about to nip the bleed valve closed when bang! And the quality* pipe from the draper bleed kit split. This both sprayed brake fluid everywhere, but sucked a load of air back into the caliper. Yay!

 

Started again with a new pipe and got one caliper done before calling it a day.

 

I also emptied the old oil which looked like treacle before attempting to remove the filter cover. You can't get the access to use a normal strap wrench on it so I gave up and ordered the proper sized tool on ebay. 86mm 16 flat filter wrench if that sort of detail arouses you.

 

This week then I'll do the following:

 

Bleed the brakes properly (the one caliper I've done is the side I sorted the pipes for)

 

Change the filter and add the new oil

 

Once that's done its MOT time. It's booked for the 25th.

[Forty-two]

I really do admire all on here who really do get stuck into car maintenance.

 

I remember the times I used to get my hands dirty and happily change brake pads etc.  That picture of the brake line is something that used to fill me with dread.  My cars that I used to maintain were daily drivers ( I owned one at a time! ).   I seemed to work Monday to Friday and fix the buggers at the weekend and I would dread something happening that would by out of my comfort zone leaving my stuck on Monday morning.  These days I have a good mate who is a mechanic, the type who would rather do the job for you before I call him up because I have broken something, he can have four wheels off, brake pads replaced while I am making a brew.

[stuboy]

not a bad motor... ideal doggers ride

[Skizzer]

Excellent.  I can't believe how cheap these are, considering how classy and modern they are/look.

 

I hope you've interrogated your mates exhaustively on how they recognised it from its previous role as a dogging wagon?

[They_all_do_that_sir]

A small but OMGAMAZEBALLSYOLOROFL (great)

 

Sooooooo I had last posted explaining how my full beam was on constantly. Turned out to be the switch at fault and I managed to fix this by stripping it, cleaning all the contacts with fine sand paper and contact cleaner before REASSEMBLY IS THE REVERSE OF DISSASSEMBLY.

 

However during all this I temporarily became even more of a massive idiot than usual, which led to me unplugging the airbag wiring for the steering wheel with the battery attached. Bugger.

 

This culminated in OHFORFUCKSSAKE as the airbag light was now on.

 

Volvo themselves would have required vast piles of coinage just to diagnose this, and with MOT fast approaching it was with slight* panic I rang an acquaintance who happens to own a shite friendly garage - YES I CAN was his reply, and his payment terms were far more in keeping with my wallet:

 

 

Thanks for fixing my car M8, now have some lung disease I think is the message there.

 

So that was this morning, this is now and as of an hour ago I have had this:

 

 

I'm well pleased, next to tax it and I think I'll try the Direct debit route this time, as a years tax on this is £230

[They_all_do_that_sir]

UPDATE

 

After a year of wafting about in this a few issues have appeared. The to be fixed list is as follows:

 

1) extremely strong smell of petrol outside car traced to fuel filter leaking from its body due to OMG corrosion. I will buy one today and fit tonight. Can't beleive just how potent the smell is from this tiny leak, you can smell it from a few feet away.

 

2) instrument panel is on the fritz - seems a common fault with these, first all warning lights illuminate, then all instruments switch off completely. At which point the indicators no longer work, Central locking is away as are the electric windows. The solution is to remove the instrument cluster and have the board on the back re flowed which my da is qualified / equipped to do. Problem is I need a window of a few days in which to do this but Im using the car every day currently.

 

3) exhaust has started blowing out somewhere - bit growly and a rattle which feels like it's under the dash so I'm guessing downpipe, haven't properly looked yet

 

4) brake servo is hissing, again a common fault on these but a pain to sort as the engine needs dropped a bit for the servo to come out. Have left this on the back burner as the brakes are still strong.

 

5) big crashy clonky noise / odd steering feel on anywhere close to full right lock, feels like broken coil spring / top mount. Will investigate this weekend.

 

6) front passenger wheel bearing starting to make a bit of noise

 

7) distinct smell of VOMIT from my youngest throwing up all over the occasional seats in the boot the other day. I've cleaned it however a mate is lending me his VAX for a more vulgalour style deep clean.