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Drive away for £200, the cheapest of cheap shite thread


Sloth in a bowl

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Failed MOT on a wheel bearing but otherwise another £200 e36 BMW

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-316i-1-6i-MANUAL-SALOON-FOR-SPARES-OR-REPAIR-PLEASE-READ-ADVERT/173602315476?hash=item286b811cd4:g:kBQAAOSwIUpbzgzU

 

T-cut, a secondhand front wing and a wheel bearing and that’s a cheap German whip

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This Gumtree seller has a 306 Diesel estate with 171000 on it for which he would like to swap for ten £20 notes.

 

MOT to 5th March 2019, looks like a potentially useful WBOD. Last MOT showed the steering rack was worn and the brake pads were low. Not the cleanest MOT history but most of it is wear and tear stuff.

 

Should the next MOT be it’s last, there is ten weeks motoring left in this before it heads to its cubic afterlife and the journey across the River Styx to pay the Chinese ferryman

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/peugeot/peugeot-306/1319391300

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Now this one is also a green estate but slightly larger. Volvo S40 for two hundred bins

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volvo/volvo-v40-automatic-estate-petrol-2000/1317955358

 

Looks like the MOT ran out a couple of weeks ago so could be a gamble, especially with the EML on but if that turns out to be a minor-ish thing, this could be very handy with a years ticket on it.

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Cheap 1.9td Golf. Cambelt due but how hard can that be on one of these? It’s normally aspirated so it won’t be fast but who cares in this price bracket?

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volkswagen/volkswagen-golf-1.9d/1320633452

 

MOT on this to next July as well so that’s eight months or so. Allowing for the car failing the next one and weighing in for £100, that’s depreciation of £12.50 a month or at current rates one packet of cigarettes. If you smoke 20 a day, cut it back to 19 and the packet of fags you don’t buy that month covers the depreciation thus making it free. Or something....

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Billeh Cavcraft to the beige courtesy phone please

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/vauxhall/vauxhall-corsa-1.0l-91k-2004/1320541653

 

One.....hundred......and.......fifty. Is that all these are worth? Of course it has no MOT but Martin thinks it will fly through. Slightly odd in that Martin has had it a while and not used it, and only has the green slip yet will forward the logbook to the new owner when it arrives? Maybe the DVLA do take several months to process ownership changes.

 

Either way for £150 it has to be worth a shot, especially if the only things it wants are a rear box and a ball joint to get another 12 months life. I think it actually looks alright but it is 4.54 in the morning and I have only had about three hours kip

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Right last one this morning.

 

Sammy needs shot of his Clio. He bought it yesterday but it isn’t big enough for his family. That would suggest to me that Sammy underestimated the size of his own kid or maybe doesn’t realise the car is small because it is far away......

 

My money is on Mrs Sammy not liking it and giving him a massive earbashing for blowing the child benefit on it.

 

I wouldn’t be surprised if the car was perfect before he bought it and he knows more about that scrape than he is telling. Either way, it’s a partly fecked Clio with 9 months MOT for £200. What more do you want, a biscuit?

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Well one thing I have ascertained is a good number of car owners using Gumtree seem incapable of basic maintenance or basic English.

 

Also noticed a few saying things like “vehicle uninsured so you can’t drive it away”. I presume they mean tax surely or do folk really believe that an insurance policy allows anyone to drive a car?

 

Either way, caveat VERY emptor if that’s such a thing...

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Smart car, just run out of MOT. Previous mot history looks pretty clean to be fair. 68000 miles, don't think ive ever seen a running one this cheap...but can't really say i've been looking. Left hand drive so potentially a nice little tow/holiday car with a little bit of work?

 

Ashbourne in derbyshire, advert is 8 days old though.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/smart/smart-car/1319651299

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Well one thing I have ascertained is a good number of car owners using Gumtree seem incapable of basic maintenance or basic English.

 

Also noticed a few saying things like “vehicle uninsured so you can’t drive it away”. I presume they mean tax surely or do folk really believe that an insurance policy allows anyone to drive a car?

 

Either way, caveat VERY emptor if that’s such a thing...

 

If the previous owner is insured on the car and they don't cancel their policy until you get home a lot of fully comp insurance would cover you. As long as you are not the registered keeper, which i suppose you wouldn't be until you got it home and filled out the paper work?

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1.4 lupo, weird window problem, 83k miles with a short Mot until February, sounds alright for just under the 200 mark. Worst thing in the description is that you'd have to go to Wigan.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volkswagen/volkswagen-lupo-1.4-petrol-s-/1320535395

And going to Wigan is bad, because ?

 

Now if you'd said Skem or Chorley.

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Cheap 1.9td Golf. Cambelt due but how hard can that be on one of these? It’s normally aspirated so it won’t be fast but who cares in this price bracket?

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volkswagen/volkswagen-golf-1.9d/1320633452

 

MOT on this to next July as well so that’s eight months or so. Allowing for the car failing the next one and weighing in for £100, that’s depreciation of £12.50 a month or at current rates one packet of cigarettes. If you smoke 20 a day, cut it back to 19 and the packet of fags you don’t buy that month covers the depreciation thus making it free. Or something....

I wish I smoked. I'd give up and suddenly be rich.

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If the previous owner is insured on the car and they don't cancel their policy until you get home a lot of fully comp insurance would cover you. As long as you are not the registered keeper, which i suppose you wouldn't be until you got it home and filled out the paper work?

 

I think...

 

They mean, the car is not currently insured, so a test drive is not possible, meaning you won't hear the knocking suspension or droning wheel bearing ... 

 

I could just be reading too much into it... 

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I love these statements like ‘will fly through MOT’. How do they know? Are they an MOT tester?

 

I think at the £200 level you have to accept you’ll be dealing with some odd characters, when you can see a similar amount over the bridge you must be dealing with someone not quite on a level pegging when they’d rather brave the legion of idiots turning up on Gumtree.

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Smart car, just run out of MOT. Previous mot history looks pretty clean to be fair. 68000 miles, don't think ive ever seen a running one this cheap...but can't really say i've been looking. Left hand drive so potentially a nice little tow/holiday car with a little bit of work?

 

Ashbourne in derbyshire, advert is 8 days old though.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/smart/smart-car/1319651299

 

Megawant, but insert here some generic excuse about the huge distance.

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Peak shite. https://www.gumtree.com/p/hyundai/%C2%A3225-mot-april-2019/1320660052

 

Wheels too small for car - check

Horrid colour - check

50mpg - check

"GNP" number plate for MMA fans - check

 

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Robs got it going on. Fed up with beating off female admirers, he has decided to get shot of his Yaris for the bargain price of £185.

 

It needs a tyre and a bit of bodywork rectification at the rear but overall this looks like a useful little runabout in cheap to insure one litre flavour...

 

Sorting that rear bumper shouldn’t be too hard, or it might even be cheaper to get a better second hand one off the bay. A tyre will cost whatever you want it to and an afternoon with the polish and a touch up pen will see this looking very presentable. I would spray those wheels white and clean that interior before driving up Grays* high street soaking up da honeyz....

 

* other high streets are available

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