Motor Traders Slang/Sayings

[Hertz]

Years ago (whilst at Uni) I had the privilege to work at a Car Sales garage (Fleet and Lease in Knutsford) specialising in yes ex Fleet/Lease and Company Cars.I was just a driver/valeter but really enjoyed driving all matter of different marques. With this comes the banter and obvious sayings inc Smoker, Doom Blue, Swapper etc etc. Anyway one sticks out and I can't get my head around what it means We called petrol "Tit" Can anyone enlighten me or was I just dreaming it all.... Any other crackers I can add to my Motor Vocabulary?

[Rocket88]

hHaddock=Haddock and bloater=motor

[Pete-M]

I don't hear many in the trade, but then again the kind of traders who use most of that aren't to be trusted anyway.

[Albert Ross]

Joseph. A car that's had paint, (Joseph and his coat of many colours)

[Hertz]

This is good, keep em coming No-one come across "Tit" as another word for fuel then?

[Guest]

I was amused to hear a car had a bidet. Rear wash wipe

[Dead_E23]

'Doom blue' is mentioned above. In 1980s Kent, maroon cars were also considered hard to shift reportedly because the local council vehicles were once that colour. We used to call it 'dustcart red'.Such a vehicle stood a fair chance of becoming a 'landmark' (i.e. staying on the lot for ages), and would we would therefore 'gimp it up' or 'put its best clothes on' and 'ding it in the block' (i.e. enter it in the local auction). With any luck, the auction would yield a 'tidy motor' (aka a 'square old thing') worthy of 'pole position' (the best spot in the front row), and probably some 'bits of toot' to go on the cheap end of the lot with the part exchanges. Needless to say, I used to look forward to driving the 'toot' home, relishing the damp smelling interiors, misshapen carpets, howling gearboxes and 'endy' rattles from the engines. ETA: Other traders who visited the lot would invariably entertain themselves by running their fingertips along the ragged panels of the 'toot' whilst saying things like 'cor mate, that is an evil looking motor'. Having tired of that, they'd find something fast or powerful looking, gaze at it for several minutes with their hands behind their backs and say 'cor mate, that's a fierce looking motor' before retiring to the office for the afternoon to chain smoke 20 JPS black and drink a gallon of tea from a dirty mug made with yesterday's milk.

[andrew e]

Doom blue A.K.A. Motability blue

[Justin Case]

Doom Blue AKA 90-day Blue (the time-span before giving up hope completely and sending it back to the auction)

[Father Ted]

Jewish Racing Gold - AKA cats piss yellow

[Mr_Bo11ox]

hHaddock=Haddock and bloater=motor

that 'haddock' one is a useful one!

[Father Ted]

I once remember that bald geezer Dominic whatever ( the one who broke into peoples houses to show them how easy it was to trash their lives) going on about a car havingStick - manual gearboxAir - Air conWhoopee Cushions - Air bagsto some punter who then went to a garage to try and get the best money he could for it P/Ex - TBH he sounded like a total tit when talking to the sales man, saying "yeah, its got a stick and whoopee cushions" why the sales manager just didnt say "fcuk off" there and then I dont know.

[Rocket88]

Re-sale red.....the colour that all so called exotica seems to be.........Hillman=Hillman Hunter=PunterKeep fit windows/steering=No assistance of a hydraulic or electrical nature!Bidet=rear wash wipe Finally, I can't think of another word in the English motoring language that has so "pet" names than body filler...Pon/Wag/Bondo/Harris [plaster of Paris]etc [i'm sure you blokes can come up with a few more]

[pompei]

Filler called "gob" in these parts ...

[Volksy]

Filler is bog round ere..Airbags = Funbags

[whitevanman]

Filler=gloop, wag, splodge, bondo, slap, plastic shite, lumpy dust, stardust, crap, plastacine, instant mash, I cant remember any more just now.........I'm too busy laughing

[pogweasel]

Plod, bodge, wag, porridge, clag, trowel. P38 GR8 4 BODYWURK REPAIRZ.

[Cavcraft]

'Haircut' (clocked), 'Paula Ratcliffe' (not much to look at but a hell of a runner), 'dasher' (one dash around the block and it was knackered) and locally 'Fished' in honour of an ALLEGEDLY highly dodgy frequenter of motor auctions in the area.

[Andrew353w]

Hope it's not too politically incorrect to state this one... When I worked in the garage trade (1970s-80s) the big Jaguars and Daimlers were referred to as "Jews' Canoes", since many were sold to and driven by them! Strangely, as I now live not a million miles from Edgware in north London... it's STILL true!Andrew353w

[Richard]

BMWs are sometimes called Black Man's Wheels, though I prefer Big Money Wasted.

[Pillock]

I once had a look at a Mk2 Polo where the scuttle had been quickly repaired to get it looking OK to flog on. My mate just said he's 'wanged some blutack in it' which I took to be slang for filler. Turns out it was actual real blutack, seemingly if you keep it cool and use a wet blunt knife to shape it it does quiet well, right up until someone prods it and the paint ripples.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Doom blue/AKA Death blue, a solid non metallic dark blueEric. "Gotta have an eric out of the motah" Eric=Erinie, an earner, profit.Maced. "That c*nt down the auction maced me for that Sierra", i.e paying somewhat over the odds.Bag. A bag of sand, a grand, a thousand facking quid.Two halfer. A cut and shut.Billy. Billy Bunter, a punter. Council Billies; those who are Government domiciled.Concrete or Bog; Body fillah.Duco; Paint. "Fackinell, that motah's 'ad a bit o' Duco!"Zorst; Exhaust system

[mk2_craig]

Pram = Skoda Rapid Convertible (with rear spoiler)

[ashmicro]

wind and skin - air-con and leathermoonbucket - sunroofLouis=Louis Bleriot - stereosphincter's friend - ABS

[Hertz]

All good ones, Doom Blue is still my favourite.We used to call people who complained about their quality high mileage motor "screamers".I guess the relevance of "Tit" as petrol was purely associated with that particular garage I still use it with my mates though.

[j-j]

"Tit"

- quite like that "bye hunny , jus going down to BP to get some tit"

[Rocket88]

creeping lightness=rustred death=rustHotpoint special=floorpan consisting of washing machine panelsChamfered=worn smoothShake and Vac=Wheel wobble K SERIES head gasket=service item

[richardthestag]

Jewish Racing Gold - AKA cats piss yellow

My misses has got one of those At least you can spot it easily in a car park

 

I remember trawling through dodgy forecourts in Sarf Lunun looking for a car for my brother and being utterly amused by the bolloxs that the salesman pounded out at us.

 

Me : "What year is it?"

Saleman "yeah she's gotta L on the front" (shows how long ago this was)

Bro "what it got on the back?"

 

When trading cars in they were always more creative at slagging down your mota

 

Filla = plop

ticket = MOT

she = car

coachwork = bodywork

boots = tyres

 

"Fak me, she drives like a bag of spannas"

"the sills is full o plop guvner"

"she'll need too much work for the next ticket guv" and you know damn well that it'll have 12 months ticket slapped on it by traders dodgy mate

 

When you eventually get through all the shite and find a car the bastard tells your he is selling it as parts thus attempting to avoid any post sales liability.

 

 

One car we looked at obviosuly had intergalatic miles on it, yet the odometer read 20k but the numbers were all up and down. Bro said "no sorry mate I'm looking for something a bit more together!"

[VWPowered]

one lady careful owner, full dealer service = normally its shagged, don't believe anything but your own judgement...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

'Wob' is a great name for bodyfiller, 'yeah the door bottom was all rusty but I wobbed it up' etc.