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Shit you see at the side of the road


beko1987

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A long time ago a friend who cycled to work every day told me to keep an eye on the verge when out on the bike as it's amazing what you can find. I started doing this for a while and managed to get quite a few useful items. The best by far however was a very nice Snap-On 3/8" drive ratchet. That was 20 years ago and I can still remember the joy.

Me and Mrs Rocker used to ride along the road between our place and the next village.  It also led to the local tip - great verge pickings along there - stuff tends to bounce out of wobbly trailers.   A quarry opened up and its dicing with bloody death cycling along there now.   My dad used to do the same in the 1950s, apparently, and once found a Dinky Triumph Renown.  I still have it!

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I found a crab's claw in a layby in Thetford a few months back. It was bloody massive. I assume it had been chucked in there, not dropped by a bird (it would need to be a very strong bird). Who drives down the A134 eating a giant crab? It puzzled me.

Maybe somebody had caught a dose at the local knocking shop.

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Audio cassette tape; fair enough. But I have always wondered about the roadside videotape.

The M4 around Reading was the place for that, miles of the stuff. I don't know whether it was Betamax or VHS.......

Roadside videotape: hedge outside Keynsham railway station, near Bristol, one frosty morning, January 2012.

 

How do I know? Because I went ass over tit after stepping on the broken wet bit of video cassette cover (the clear plastic case with the paper sleeve) that was on the pavement, that's why. Just like ice. The f**kers, it resulted in a sore arse and a ruined newish leather glove (which did save my hand, but skin's cheaper).

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Audio cassette tape; fair enough. But I have always wondered about the roadside videotape.

I always assumed the videos where "Gentlemen's Interest" or "Jazz" tapes and had been jettisoned to prevent embarrassment at home...

 

Bottles of pop with some pale yellow liquid in. Don't know what it is, I'll pick some up next time I'm on M1

Also known as Lorry Drivers Pop
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  • 2 years later...

It's not that uncommon to find a dead horse by the side of the road in the New Forest. They seem to like standing gormlessly in the middle of the road just over blind crests.

Yep. One walked out in front of me two years ago the night before the Beaulieu Spring Autojumble and I smashed straight into it. It went up on the roof and caved most of it in.

 

Obviously I stopped and called the police who informed the estate agister, etc.

 

Attending copper (who had to cover most of the New Forest from one police station) was surprised I'd stopped. "Your plate's disappeared and your car still runs; most people keep going if their car's still got coolant in it." The car - a Ford Sierra XR4i - was deemed a Cat C write off a month later, bought back from the insurance company by a colleague and cut up for spares.

 

Two shots rang out as I was giving my statement to the police. The impact had broken three of the pony's legs and the agister decided to put it down there and then. It had somehow managed to wander across the road in the excitement and was surrounded by ten of its ilk before it was put out of its misery.

 

I still have the breathalyser tube in my drawer at home. The glass sun roof in the car I was driving shattered and hurled toughened glass into my scars.

It was a day after I took the Piazza around Cadwell Park and I very nearly went down to Beaulieu in it.

 

TL, DR: Cars and the Magna Carta are incompatible, as are freeholds.

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Guest bangerfan101

Walking the dog near my work in Harrogate. Some shitehawk has dumped about 500 charity clothes appeal bags in the ditch.

Community service lads probably

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"If I ruled the world..."

 

....I'd have CSI get straight on that - fingerprinting should quickly establish who the lazy polluting convict is so I could get their sentence tripled them put out of their misery etc. etc.

 

That and fly tipping gets my goat more than it should

 

</reactionary middle class self righteous law abiding pseudo environmentalist rant>

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Guest bangerfan101

Found a dead red kite in the same ditch too. Thought about reporting it as there endangered but the lack of arsed prevented it. Mr Fox had eaten most of it for his dinner next time I walked past it

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Guest bangerfan101

M62 junction 30 Rothwell. 100 yards off the roundabout towards Wakefield. Old school Home made car trailer appeared today. If the wheels weren't at a jaunty angle it would be sat in my drive later on. Alas. It's kippered

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Walking the dog near my work in Harrogate. Some shitehawk has dumped about 500 charity clothes appeal bags in the ditch.

 

This used to always happen to the free papers down sarf when I was a kid. It seemed like a right of passage to get a job delivering the Guardian (local ad-funded free paper at the time) and to drop them behind a bush or in a river until the distributors cottoned on and sacked you.

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