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German online car magazine slags German car design


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#1 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 11:05 PM

I tried to translate their captions as close as possible.

 

The headline:

 

Cringeworthy -  These are the most embarrassing German cars

 

Some cars have the average consumer wonder, what the manufacturer was thinking during the development. Here we show the most embarrassing cars of recent German automotive history.

 

 

audi-a2.jpg

This includes the chubby Audi A2 - a prime example of how a car should not look.

 

 

opel-agila.jpg

The Opel Agila doesn't look particularly agile. Specifically the caved in rear end makes you want to look the other way.

 

 

maybach.jpg

The two-tone paintwork of the Maybach is unnecessary as a goiter. apart from that the big barge looks like an S-class for show-offs with no sense of style or taste.

 

 

vw-cross-up.jpg

Off-road look is in vogue, but the off road capability the VW Up suggests is just embarrassing.

 

 

bmw-3er-compact.jpg

A beautiful backside can be a delight - but the hatchback of the BMW 3 Series compact is anything but aesthetically pleasing.

 

 

 

smart-roadster.jpg

Granted, the Smart Roadster is a real fun car. The design, however, went completely wrong.

 

 

vw-new-beetle.jpg

What a letdown: The New Beetle almost tarnishes the cult of the original Beetle.

 

 

mercedes-a-klasse.jpg

The first Mercedes A-Class - one wonders why this car has ever sold quite well. Meanwhile, the compact car has become a real feast for the eyes.

 

 

bmw-x6.jpg

No eye candy: the coupé-like roofline of the BMW X6 looks completely out of place on this behemoth on wheels.

 

 

mini-clubman.jpg

The Brits are not amused, neither are we: The Clubman, Germanised and bloated by BMW, does not bear any resemblance to the English original.

 

 

mercedes-r-klasse.jpg

From the front to the middle, the design of the Mercedes R-Class is no cause for criticism. From the C-pillars back, however, it's downright unpleasant, to say the least.

 

 

vw-lupo.jpg

The VW Lupo with its bulging eyes is not a nice car to begin with, but the police version takes the biscuit.

 

 

mercedes-vaneo.jpg

The Mercedes Vaneo looks like a too tall A-Class. After less than four years the design experiment was thankfully concluded.

 

 

vw-xl1.jpg

One-liter car or not - the styling of the VW XL1 is a complete failure.


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#2 OFFLINE   Station

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 11:14 PM

I think half of those are quite nice and tidy. I think current BMWs have lost the plot, but Audi had kept it together over the decades.
Modern cars have to appeal to a Chinese market, which explains their ornamental, chintzy design - almost like cheap jewelry. Even Germany, which was once hardcore 'German'!

#3 ONLINE   catsinthewelder

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 11:19 PM

They certainly have a point with most of them.  The smart and A2 still look fresh now though which must show an aspect of good design and the mk2 Agila is a lot less visually challenged than the mk1.

 

Of the mini's I'd find the clubman the least offensive if they had done the suicide door on both sides,  it's just insulting having a supposidly British car which is blatently designed for LHD.


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#4 OFFLINE   Wilko220

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 11:37 PM

Makes a refreshing change from the British press / BBC / etc slagging British motoring heritage all the time.
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#5 OFFLINE   rml2345

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 12:02 AM

I always thought the Lupo was quite cute and the A2 does still look quite fresh. The Maybach always looked crap, it's far too easy to see the S-class that it's based on in the design so the fact that they sold any at all is quite remarkable.

The X6 is also quite horrorsome. None of the rest bother me that much. 


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#6 OFFLINE   Des

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 12:04 AM

That author wants to have relocated somewhere South Americaish pretty swiftly, or there's a nasty Luger encounter coming.


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Festering scum of the earth, yer motoring public.

#7 OFFLINE   TagoraSX

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 12:32 AM

I strongly disagree with inclusion of the A2 on that list, innovative when new and still looks sharp today.



#8 OFFLINE   robinmasters

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 12:57 AM

It's probably just the result of the captions being translated from the German, but they do sound a bit like Jurgen.

 

"I feel I must apologise for my country's conduct during the war"

 

mqdefault.jpg


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#9 OFFLINE   Spiny Norman

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 01:00 AM

Wouldn't disagree with any of that, German cars are by and large, munters and have been for a good 10 years. The CLS Merc (& the VW Pisshat clone) and current Audi A5 are OK, as is the 911 obviously but the rest of BMW/Mercedes & Audi's output recently has been hideous IMO.


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#10 OFFLINE   Felly Magic

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 01:08 AM

VAG just use photocopiers to design their cars, and Jesus wept, Skodas look tediously dull, and the Yeti is just a mess, and only blind old giffers seem to have bought roomsters


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#11 OFFLINE   Partridge

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 01:19 AM

A quite like the styling of the A2 and the Lupo. The rest are cack.


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#12 OFFLINE   oman5

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 04:05 AM

I've no opinion, I don't even notice most of these on the road. 


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#13 OFFLINE   Des

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 10:08 AM

EFA.

VAG just use drunken fat birds sat on photocopiers to design their cars


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#14 OFFLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 10:24 AM

Des, I think you owe drunken fat birds, even German ones, a grovelling apology there.  I can't believe even they would perpetrate the rubbish flung at us these days.


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#15 OFFLINE   D-Dubya

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 10:26 AM

And look what happens when 1980s Germans and 1980s Italians think what the future will be like.
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#16 OFFLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 10:29 AM

Sadly, they did at least get the paint right. :-(


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#17 OFFLINE   M'coli

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 01:12 PM

The A2 looked good enough for BMW to rip it off for the i3:
BMW-i3-Seite.jpg


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#18 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 01:13 PM

I can't see any similarities?


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#19 OFFLINE   brickwall

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 01:50 PM

I agree with the thrust of the article. Beemers and Mercs used to be bold in looks and class. VW used to have interesting, if not peculiar, cars along with some sexy zippy cars.

 

 

The Mini has become a misnomer and a complicated mess


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#20 OFFLINE   Justin Case

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 02:10 PM

Audi A2:

Looks as if it was designed by an architect with taste and not by a schoolboy without - check
Doesn't have unneccessary swage lines spoiling the side view of the car - check
Windows you can see out of - check
Lights that look as if they were designed for the car and not stolen from a fairground ride - check
Wheels in proportion to car - check
Tyres in proportion to wheels - check

I think I'll get the exciting new model Mercedes C Class instead, completely unspoiled by good taste.
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#21 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 03:10 PM

Which would you rather own, if they'd cost the same?

 

audi-a2.jpg

 

or

 

25-2.jpg

 

 

 

opel-agila.jpg

 

or

 

opel-caravan-1957-1-snickeri-2-839453745

 

 

 

maybach.jpg

 

or

 

149028_11704949_1952_Mercedes-Benz_300%2

 

 

 

vw-cross-up.jpg

 

or

 

vw_181_fire_chief_by_mechanicman-d2yxbqd

 

 

 

bmw-3er-compact.jpg

 

or

 

5492464636_8d24b2d042_o.jpg

 

 

 

 

smart-roadster.jpg

 

or

 

2a.jpg

 

 

 

vw-new-beetle.jpg

 

or

 

tlf-16-magirus-deutz-mercur-125-a-eb270e

 

 

 

mercedes-a-klasse.jpg

 

or

 

Merc-front.jpg

 

 

 

bmw-x6.jpg

 

or

 

22974867-770-0@2X.jpg?rev=1

 

 

 

mini-clubman.jpg

 

or

 

page36_48.jpg

 

 

mercedes-r-klasse.jpg

 

or

 

image69665.jpg

 

 

 

vw-lupo.jpg

 

or

 

IFA-Trabant-1-1-Universal-Ein-Herz-fuer-

 

 

 

mercedes-vaneo.jpg

 

or

 

BUS_BLA1.jpg


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#22 ONLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 04:57 PM


Audi A2:

Looks as if it was designed by an architect with taste and not by a schoolboy without - check
Doesn't have unneccessary swage lines spoiling the side view of the car - check
Windows you can see out of - check h
Lights that look as if they were designed for the car and not stolen from a fairground ride - check
Wheels in proportion to car - check
Tyres in proportion to wheels - check

I think I'll get the exciting new model Mercedes C Class instead, completely unspoiled by good taste.

 

I'd take issue with 'windows you can see out of.' The rear window is a stupid, split design with no wiper. It offers the sort of visibility that you get after being punched very hard in the eyes.

 

The Smart Roadster is a great looking thing though. Shame the driving experience didn't match the looks.


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#23 ONLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 06:24 PM

The problem I have with the A2 is that it was (afaik) the first car that was deliberately designed to prevent its owner gaining access to the engine.  It was therefore a pioneer of the modern attitude to car repairs.  For that reason alone, as Setright might have said, the thing is reprehensible.


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#24 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 08:37 PM

German online car magazine slags German car design


Good. Lets hope this is the start of real, clear minded fair criticism of all car makers putting an end to this tired blind follow-the-sheep gushing over so-called "premium" cars just because they come from a certain country.
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#25 OFFLINE   Hendry

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 10:01 AM

I'm going to be honest here, I like the look of most modern German cars with the exception of the following: 1 series BMW (ugly to begin with, just got worse) new Beetle, Upexclamationmark, Audi A1, Audi A7, Binis (all versions),

The new A-class Merc is a nice looking car IMO, far better than the old one, the Golf may be dull and bland but its not a bad looking/ugly car, Audi A5s are cracking looking IMO, I could go on, but the point is they are not any uglier/worse looking than anything from any other manufacturers from any other country, they are not any worse cars in any way really in terms of reliability, specification/equipment, how good they are to drive etc. the problem with them and thus the reason I don't like them is how overpriced they are, the apparent "premium" the badge supposedly has, the majority of wanky/snobby/smug/arrogant owners who think they are better than everyone and that their car is the best thing since sliced bread, and the OMGGERMANCARSAREUBERQUALITYFTW attitude even people who don't own them have towards them, My old man for example had never owned a German car in his life, closest he'd come was owning rebadged Opels ie Vauxhalls, yet he would always remark when seeing a VW "quality motor" and now he has one i remarked how the owners manual for his car being in a "leather" bound small lever arch file with separate sections for things was a nice touch he said "that's VW for you, German quality, its the wee neat touches like that and attention to detail that makes them quality"

So yeah the Germans are good at clever marketing, people who have never owned them speak about their quality/reliability like they are speaking from personal experience in much the same way others who've never owned a Ford/Vauxhall will tell you how their cars are crap/not up to much, so it'd not so much that German cars are bad they just have a lot of hype to live upto.
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#26 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 02:19 PM

...they are not any uglier/worse looking than anything from any other manufacturers from any other country...

 

Every time I think car styling can't get worse, the next new car show is held, and I'm proven wrong yet again. That something isn't uglier than something else, is nowadays not a token of beauty, far from it.

 

I can't see any trace of beauty in the examples the German car magazine chose, but admittedly some of them wouldn't have been my prime candidates for an article like this. They made worse. Much worse.


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#27 OFFLINE   alf892

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Posted 16 March 2014 - 06:21 PM

I like things with curves........be they wenches or cars

 

So much of the recent cars and girls and girls thread with it's straight waisted chaves leaves me cold.

 

Siimilarly many of the examples in this thread are meh....

 

But i think the Lupo remains a good looking car........oh.........and I like Binis the more time passes.

 

So the krauts can do what they like. Just give me cars with curves and I'm in.........I don't don't care where they originate.

 

In some places BL is ridiculed.......in others it is czech......now the germans.No change.

 

Just saying.



#28 OFFLINE   forddeliveryboy

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Posted 12 April 2014 - 03:12 PM

Success on a national scale has begun to make the Germans forget what made them successful in the first place. That Maybach is bloody awful, almost as bad as the new Bini and its horrid Landbewohner offshoot. They're not even long-lasting and reliable as they used to be.


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#29 OFFLINE   stilo_active

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Posted 12 April 2014 - 07:06 PM

I've never particularly warmed to German tin. Never had one or looked after one that was reliable either.

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#30 OFFLINE   Negative Creep

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Posted 12 April 2014 - 08:37 PM

I saw one of those BMW electric things the other day and............wow, just wow. I'd advise that you carry a hipflask full of bleach so that you can pour it into your eyes should you ever chance across one


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