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Anti Static Shock Strip


Hertz

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Tony 'Hey, Hey, I love rallying me...' Mason. Was busted by trading standards for selling anti-stic strips which - when analysed were found to have 'no metal content'. His defence 'It's not my fault - the suppliers were Italian'On the plus side he's rumoured to have sold TM Products suppliers of sub-Paddy Hopkirk tat for a million quid.

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These strips were originally developed by General Motors in the early '60s. They were intended not for discharging static and reducing motion sickness, but to enable motorists to manipulate the very fabric of the universe; to bend time and space and allow cars to travel into other, previously undreamt of dimensions.When a Chevrolet Ordinaire, equipped with the first prototype of the strip was hurled into a hole in the space-time continuum which GM had built outside Dire City, Michigan, engineers were dismayed when it was hurled back 20 minutes later. The test driver was alive, but hopelessly addicted to heroin, mobile phones and criminal compensation claims. He had, however, suffered no noticeable signs of motion sickness and the car was bafflingly free of static electricity.The test driver's name? Patrick Halford Hopkirk......

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What does that mean?

You sound uncannily like a bloke I know called Tom. He comes out with bizarre ideas like that GM stuff. I mean really - I think he did too much acid back in the 60's and left his mind in a Black Hole somewhwere - talking of which - is anyone concerned by this experiment in France to create mini Black Holes?
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What does that mean?

You sound uncannily like a bloke I know called Tom. He comes out with bizarre ideas like that GM stuff. I mean really - I think he did too much acid back in the 60's and left his mind in a Black Hole somewhwere - talking of which - is anyone concerned by this experiment in France to create mini Black Holes?
Of course. That bloke you know called Tom had quite slipped my mind there!And fair play to you for working in the phrase "too much acid back in the 60s"! Fab gear. I bet his hair's so long you can't tell if he's a boy or a girl and he listens to that bleedin' jungle music where you can't hear the words and there's never a tune you can dance to......
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talking of which - is anyone concerned by this experiment in France to create mini Black Holes?

I thought they'd already done that and it ends up in Kent.
It'll just end up a total fiasco, like the whole 'Mini Cheddars' thing. Look: Those are NOT Cheddars, of any size. They are pub snacks, like Tescos Cheese Savouries or Victoria Wine's own brand 'Cheese Snips', and they have been fashioned to resemble a very small cheese flavoured snack cracker. It's grotesque.When Dr Alexander Fleming noticed the unsightly mould which had grown on the petrie dish he'd left unwashed overnight, he immediately thought: "This could quite easily be formed into small, bitesize morsels and sold in public houses as Cheese Moments and Scampi Fries". He did not think it could somehow be marketed as some kind of miniaturised version of an already popular savoury snack item. No, he immediately contacted the girl with the bakelite headset at the hospital reception and told her: "Munich, long distance. I must speak urgently with doktor Klaus KitKat Chunky!"
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