What would be the ultimate 'shite spec' model of a car

[Morgan84]

We all know there is such a variation in trim levels on cars these days, and now its hard to tell the bog standard from the all bells and whistles edition. Going back in time, when a Ghia model meant more than a badge, and Vanden Plas instantly meant plush, there were also model names such as Merit or Popular which instantly meant spartan spec.

If you were designing a 'shite spec' car, what would it be ?

 

MK3 Cavalier 'Merit'  1.4 engine with a 4 speed manual gearbox. No side mouldings, black bumpers and mirrors, no power steering or central locking, FM/MW radio only, no rear wash/wipe , 13" steel wheels , clear glass, and finished in non metallic colours only

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

That Viva from Arley has to be in the running - 

 

 

 

[Morgan84]

Blimey, that was a cut down model !

[londonm]

That's superb, I particularly like the 'no rear side opening windows' which must have been horrendous with no doubt moulded vinyl seats. Like travelling in a mobile green house. The later Bedford van version must have been sumptuous compared to this. To be fair, all car producers would love to get away with this if they could.

[Anglevan]

I have a standard Anglia estate - spec of that is no passenger sun visor, no heater, no washers, no chrome trim, painted grille as opposed the large anodised grille of the deluxe. No chrome in rear windows, no opening rear 1/4 windows.

Inner trim is 'mill board' as opposed to PVC / spare wheel cover just a piece of marine ply instead if trendy lino and aluminium rubbing strips.

No interior light, rubber mats, no temperature gauge, no parcel shelf, no rear ash trays

rear lights are painted silver instead of chrome.

 

Yep it's very basic and very rare - I think they only made 7,500 out of over a million anglias.

 

As for the modern basic car - isn't the Dacia Sandero supposed to be mega sparce of extras - radio being one ??

[cms206]

MK3 Cavalier 'Merit' 1.4 engine with a 4 speed manual gearbox. No side mouldings, black bumpers and mirrors, no power steering or central locking, FM/MW radio only, no rear wash/wipe , 13" steel wheels , clear glass, and finished in non metallic colours only

*pedant hat on* IIRC the Cavalier Mk3 was never available in Merit trim; shitest of the shite was the 1.4 base which did have a reasonable amount of spec - no sunroof, electric windows or PAS but they did have a 5 speed 'box and rear wash/wipe. Not entirely miserable but getting there.

[dollywobbler]

Weren't Ford the kings of miserable? If you couldn't afford an Anglia, you could have the previous Anglia renamed as a Popular and sporting absolutely sod all in terms of equipment. The Popular 100E didn't even have posh rear lights!

 

The Fiesta and Escort Popular recalled such stingyness - no rear wiper, no passenger mirror though you did at least get a windscreen and a heater.

[castros_bro]

Supervan Reliant (non 21E).     In 1970 the Regal 21E Reliant was introduced with 21 extras fitted at the factory, exotic items like a spare wheel. I had one in van flavour without
 
01    Carpet-covered heelboards
02    Carpeted footwell surrounds
03    Interior paintwork matched the exterior
04    Luxury interior trim fittings
05    Ammeter in chrome bezel set on grained dash panel
06    Chrome plated boot hinges
07    Finely graduated oil pressure gauge in chrome bezel
08    Padded, swivelling sun visors for driver and passenger
09    Chromed over-riders front and rear
10    Lucas spotlight with separate dash-mounted switch
11    Lucas fog light with separate dash-mounted switch
12    Chromed hub caps
13    Decorative ful circle wheel trims for rear wheels
14    Locking petrol cap
15    Twin fully adjustable spring-back wing mirrors
16    Spare wheel
17    Spare wheel cover
18    Simulated leather non-slip steering wheel glove in black
19    Chrome-plated bonnet hinges
20    Chrome filler strip in all window surrounds
and...
21   Metallic paint finish in four tones - Manhatten Blue, Silver Streak, Golden Sands and Caribbean Green
 

[Micrashed]

Weren't Ford the kings of miserable? 

The Fiesta and Escort Popular recalled such stingyness - no rear wiper, no passenger mirror though you did at least get a windscreen and a heater.

Not only that they went far enough to put a totally different dashboard in the car:

1.1 popular =

1.1 L (onwards) =

[Lacquer Peel]

That seems ridiculous now. Surely it cost them money to offer a stripped out basic model with a different dash?

[Alexg]

That Viva is so splendidly miserable. The ultra basic 2CV Special is also a brilliant mingebag chariot.

[plasticvandan]

Supervan Reliant (non 21E).     In 1970 the Regal 21E Reliant was introduced with 21 extras fitted at the factory, exotic items like a spare wheel. I had one in van flavour without

 

01    Carpet-covered heelboards

02    Carpeted footwell surrounds

03    Interior paintwork matched the exterior

04    Luxury interior trim fittings

05    Ammeter in chrome bezel set on grained dash panel

06    Chrome plated boot hinges

07    Finely graduated oil pressure gauge in chrome bezel

08    Padded, swivelling sun visors for driver and passenger

09    Chromed over-riders front and rear

10    Lucas spotlight with separate dash-mounted switch

11    Lucas fog light with separate dash-mounted switch

12    Chromed hub caps

13    Decorative ful circle wheel trims for rear wheels

14    Locking petrol cap

15    Twin fully adjustable spring-back wing mirrors

16    Spare wheel

17    Spare wheel cover

18    Simulated leather non-slip steering wheel glove in black

19    Chrome-plated bonnet hinges

20    Chrome filler strip in all window surrounds

and...

21   Metallic paint finish in four tones - Manhatten Blue, Silver Streak, Golden Sands and Caribbean Green

 

 

I was going to suggest the basic supervan,standard from factory it was finished in primer! If you wanted paint that was another £20.The spare wheel was an "option" right up until the rialto in 82,but not because of tightfistedness (tho they made you pay around £15 for it) but because with the spare in it tipped it over the 8cwt weight limit,so it was sold as an extra,even tho i think it might have been a legal thing to have come with one.

The van also as standard only came with drivers seat and if you were lucky,drivers seatbelt.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Base model Mk3 Escort had a different dash too. Little shelf instead of the radio speaker and no centre air vents.

 

Was it the AX which deleted face level vents on the cheaper models? That always seemed particularly stingy.

[ChinaTom]

I used to look up to the Popular model when I had a 1.3 Base Escort. The Pop came with front head-rests - mine didn't. Not even placcy ones like the Sierra base got.

 

Mother CT ran a LHD Fiat 127 900 for a while (it was free - uncle found it abandoned on the A12 and put it on trade plates; this was 1979). Not even a C or an L. Replacing it with a UK spec 1050 CL felt like a pools win. That 900 didn't have anything - no wing mirrors, and most annoying to her, the little boot hatch didn't even have hydraulic struts to keep it open. Fixed front seats (no runners or rake mech)

[fordperv]

I have to say for me it's the early mk1 Sierra base. With its matte black plastic slat grille, droopy mirrors, no sunroof, dismal dash clocks, no cigarette lighter, seats with moulded plastic headrests, no split folding rears, 4 speed box and the winner of it all for me is the chance to own this beautiful car with a 1.3 powerhouse

[cort16]

That Fiesta dash is just a big FU. If you're going to buy a base model then we're not even going to give you a space for a radio you just have to sit in silence and contemplate how you've not done well enough in life to even afford something with an AM radio. As Laqueer Peel said it's must have cost them more to make it more miserable.

 

Saying that there's something even more depressing about having a dashboard where all the buttons that do exciting stuff have been blanked off.

[Junkman]

Mercedes /8 200D German taxi spec.

[ChinaTom]

yeah but you still got a sense of the car being screwed together rather better than a Sierra base. Even with all that juddering and vibration from trying to achieve 60km/h.

 

I'll have a Sierra base as well. Probably in Citrine Yellow or Signal red like the one on the 1988 brochure. The Granada 1.8L was too plush by far. An older 2.1DL may be a shiter version of your 200D, but do appreciate that the Rolls Royce Silver Spur wheel trims do make it look too classy.

 

Sunroof in a mingebag Sierra? You needed to fork out for an LX for that, or pay £300 for one in an L

 

I'm putting my minimal change of clothes required for the second week into a bin-bag now and studying the pages of the 23 year old AA Road Atlas that still has the A14 as a broken "to be built" line to see about the best way to get to Rhyl. Can't wait for those Little Chef meals - what a treat. Taking my own tea bags though - one for the first week and one for the second. The one I'm using now still has a few days left in it but may be done by the leg stretch in Wrexham

 

I do recall a 1.8L Carlton (slippy shape) being incredibly bare, but I think central locking precludes it as too posh. I want the torn muscles in my shoulder from unlocking the rear nearside door from the driver seat. Wasn't there a farmer spec Tagora once or was GL the lowest spec?

 

A Hyundai Stellar L could also qualify.

[dollywobbler]

Base model Mk3 Escort had a different dash too. Little shelf instead of the radio speaker and no centre air vents.

 

Was it the AX which deleted face level vents on the cheaper models? That always seemed particularly stingy.

The Mini had that too. No fresh air vents on the City. Needed a Mayfair for those. And head restraints.

 

Just thought of another mingebag - the basic Anglia 105E, which had barely any chrome. Again, must have cost them money to rework the nose. The stupidest mingebaggery of all has to be the Minivan and pick-up, which used a different front pressing with a fixed grille. Again, must have cost extra to make and ruined already-crap engine access. Nice work!

[ProgRocker]

My 1979 Austin Morris Mini 1000 was fairly luxurious compared to the 850cc one (pre 'City'). I had side eyeball air vents and opening rear windows. I think the 850 model had just gained cloth seats and integral reversing tail lights at this time.

 

My old Fiat Tempra 1.4 was fairly palatial as a poverty spec model. Seats were like velour and I think it had a rear centre armrest. Probably a better experience for the passengers than the driver on that particular model!

[castros_bro]

In the Gaulosis fog of history didn't the TPV/2CV have one headlamp, one tail lamp, one wiper, roof and seats of canvas, a pull cord starter and an L. J. K. Setright epitaph "the most intelligent application of minimalism ever to succeed as a car"

[RedSparrow]

I'm going to have to agree with the Ford theory here. Those Mk2 Fiestas were pretty spartan.
Either that or some of the base model 1970's Mini 850s.

[Richard]

Ford have always been the masters of mingebaggery. I think the early Mk3 Escort Base must have been one of the last new cars to come with no carpet.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Ford really do put a lot of effort into it. I've got a 1976 range brochure here, and the 1100 Escort Popular has crossply tyres on itty bitty 12in wheels (the 1300 Popular has radials on 13s) it also has drums all round while the 1300 has front discs. 

 

Was it really worth sourcing and stocking 12in wheels and different tyres for one specific trim level? 

 

Oh, and here's a scan of the 'fuck you' dash in the base MK3. It did come with carpet, but note deleted speaker, deleted dash vents,  deleted glovebox door, blank doorcards with plain handle, two speed fan instead of three. The model pictured has the optional fabric seats, they would have been vinyl. 

 

[dollywobbler]

What about the early Standard 8s? No bootlid, no heater, no blingy chrome and I think you even had to pay extra for a passenger wiper. Sliding windows too IIRC.

 

Of course, the Royal Mail weren't happy with the already mingebag-spec of Morris Minor vans back in the day. They had them converted to opening windscreens to help with misting up as a heater was entirely out of the question and had the feeble engines detuned! In fact, when the Moggy went 948cc, for many years the GPO Moggy vans were still 803 - which included the weaker bottom end. SENSIBLE.

[Richard]

I've definitely seen an early Mk3 Escort with rubber flooring.

[Hendry]

Jesus H Christ!

 

I really thought some of the motors my uncles and my dad had when I was young were the definition of poverty spec and that they were cheapskate sods, maybe that's why I always buy the higher trim level versions myself.

 

I really thought a turd brown Maestro City with hub caps instead of wheel trims, no rear wiper and 4 speed box or a white base Uno 45 in white with no front head rests was about as bad as it got, genuinely shocked by some of the examples here.

 

The different dash for poverty models still exists btw, although it exists on more than just 1 trim spec and isn't to the extent of deleting vents and glove boxes, the mk3 Clio lower spec models (Freeway, Authentique, Extreme, Bizu, 197/200 Cup) have a hard plastic dash with passenger airbag cut out, different speedo dials with no door open display and fuel/temp gauges in the mileage reading and different door cards with the door pulls integrated into the fabric. Higher models (Dynamique, Privilege, Initiale 197/200 non cup) have a "soft touch" dash with better quality plastic, chrome trim, more upmarket dials with separate gauges and door cards with door pulls in a different place, speaker grilles and window switches relocated. Only modern car I can think of like this, others hav different trim, different colours etc but not a completely redesigned dash and doo cards.

 

My idea would be something a bt newer and modern for my generation.................................................................. I give you the Corsa B 1.2 8v 45 Bhp Merit, Corsa was one of the first cars ever available with a drivers airbag when launched, the base model never got given one in its entire lifespan which extended to 2000! Early models had only a radio no tape player, steel wheels with caps no trims, 4 speed box, no PAS, a hole where the glovebox should be, no rear wiper, grey interior trim and plastics instead of black, no rev counter, 3 speed instead of 4 speed fan, which ok is nowhere near as bad as some of the examples in this thread but for a car that's oldest models are just turning 20 that's pretty bad.

[Shep Shepherd]

I recall the interior of the early base model (or, as my local Ford dealer liked to call it, the 'lead-in') mark 3 Escort being described as a rep's monastic punishment cell by the motoring writer Jeremy Walton

[dollywobbler]

In the Gaulosis fog of history didn't the TPV/2CV have one headlamp, one tail lamp, one wiper, roof and seats of canvas, a pull cord starter and an L. J. K. Setright epitaph "the most intelligent application of minimalism ever to succeed as a car"

 

The prototypes had one headlamp, but the production cars always had two. Just the one tail-light at first though, no brake lights! Always had two wipers, driven by the speedometer for the first couple of decades - with a hand over-ride when you weren't moving. Pull cord starting was considered, but concerns about ladies breaking their fingernails meant electric starting was always a feature - though every 2CV ever produced (right up until 1990) came with a starting handle. Took some time for a fuel gauge to be fitted - a dipstick in the fuel filler neck was standard at first.

 

The British-built 2CVs were proper posh. You got fancy wheel trims, a metal (rather than canvas) bootlid and an interior light that could be twisted to illuminate the speedometer at night.

[Rusty Pelican]

My Imp van had the passenger seat listed as an extra ( £8 ) ,no passenger sun visor ,  no heater , rubber floor mats , no temperature gauge just a speedo and fuel gauge , non opening passenger quaterlight and the piece du resistance was that a paint colour was an extra £12 otherwise it just came in primer .