And by all accounts useless in every environment.
Only if you believe motorcycling journalists I was always more of a UMG reader, so always preferred to hear what long-term owners thought of their machines. I bought it from a friend who'd had it from nearly new and was looking to downsize because of health issues, and I've ridden more miles in it's company that I've done on it myself as yet. I've not toured on it thus far, but it's previous owner thought nothing of doing so.
The upright riding position is great for me because of my ropey back, although if you wanted to cruise at much more than the speed limit (I don't) you might find the wind blast a bit intrusive. Mine has a taller GIvi screen fitted, and I've pootled along for as much as 4-5 hours at a time at 70 with no ill-effects. The seat is very comfortable; the pillion looks less so but then I don't carry them, so not an issue for me.
The automatic transmission (1000000 Biker Hate Points) is brilliant, albeit a lot more complex than a common-or-garden CVT, and definitely not serviceable by a primate like me. Still, I'm told that the hydraulic system it's based on is used in farm machinery etc. and supposedly pretty tough, so fingers crossed it'll last. Gearchanges are almost undetectable, and there's also flappy paddle mode if you want to get a wriggle on (I generally don't). I guess if you ride like you stole it you'd find issues with the handling and intrusions from the shaft drive... I'm very happy with it in that respect, even with an overloaded top box and a big dry bag strapped to the pillion.
Obviously it doesn't cut it on the urban scramble front, but I would contend that it was never intended to be a scooter. It's simply a cruiser in better looking clothes with automatic transmission. That said, I do ride it in town; the low seat and COG and auto box help, but the sheer length of the beast makes filtering a bit of a trial. The C90 is the weapon of choice for that sort of thing!
So, not for everyone then, but does it deserve the scorn poured upon it from every outpost of the motorcycle press? Different strokes for different folks... all I know is that this (and the old Helix & other big scooters) work better for me than other types of bike.
And, yeah, they do look fantastic