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Shite of the Future.


Jazzy Jeff

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I was in Hungary the other week, and aside from gawping at the odd Trabi, Zastava, FSO and Moskvitch chugging it out with more modern fare I was astounded at how many of these were knocking about:

 

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I'd go as far as to say they must be one of the most popular new cars over there, if not THE most popular.

 

Why aren't they sold over here? I'd love to see them, way better than a Clio Campus, and while they are at it, give us the Dacia Logan. The Grey haired Proton/Lada lovers are absolutely crying out of them.

 

Sadly I have no pictures, the shite spot of the week had to be seeing a Rover Streetwise. Why in God's name you would buy one of those brand new if you lived in Budapest is beyond my comprehension.

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They would sell about 12 of those Clio saloons.Small saloons are almost universally hated here, which is a shame as I reckon they're more useful than the hatchback versions unless you're carrying dogs/washing machines around all the time.

Exactly. You can count the number of saloon Focus & Astra G that were sold here on the fingers of one hand. Just no point trying to convince Joe Public that they did want saloons after all (remember that the Maxi and Renner 16 were hardly huge sales successes in GB).
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I was in Hungary the other week, and aside from gawping at the odd Trabi, Zastava, FSO and Moskvitch chugging it out with more modern fare I was astounded at how many of these were knocking about:

 

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Here in Ireland we've got its shitey cousin, the Nissan Tiida:

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They're not available in the UK, just third world countries like Ireland, Brazil, South Africa and Australia...

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I noticed one of these yesterday, a facelifted C5 sedan.

 

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Quite a handsome car in a bland BMW type way, and no doubt one of the leading contender for current Citroen depreciation stakes. Is this Citroens first recent 3 box saloon design? I know the ami was sold as a saloon but thats a mental looking car. I often thought that the Xsara or ZX would make a great shite saloon - maybe the chinese knocked one out.

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The recent Seat Toledo (looks like a Leon saloon) is a bit of an ugly bug. Also dislike the Astra MkIV saloon, just a hatch with an extended rear section, the Astra MkIII saloon, the Daewoo Lanos saloon, the Daewoo Nexia saloon (the likes of which that ZX above reminds me of more than an R9), the Renault Megane saloon......that's all I can think of right now.

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Here in Ireland we've got its shitey cousin, the Nissan Tiida:

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They're not available in the UK, just third world countries like Ireland, Brazil, South Africa and Australia...

I often wonder how these decisions are made - same with the Kia Avella (hatch variant of Mazda 121 DB) it never made it to the UK but the only real difference I can think of would be a speedo in MPH which the US variant Ford Aspire has anyway.... :?:
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Jeezus, that Nissan Tilda Swinton thing has got a face on it like a fight at a pikey wedding. What a horror! You would have to proper hate all things to do with cars, to spend your hard-earned on something so pap looking. An Almera is a classy studty in modern motoring cool by comparison.

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The recent Seat Toledo (looks like a Leon saloon) is a bit of an ugly bug.

Which one?? I have a 2004 Toledo which I actually think is rather attractive, plus with it being a saloon it is a damn sight more discreet and doesnt look like a 180bhp motorway eater and has a nicely large boot.The newer Toledo is a right eyesore though!Had a new C5 saloon over the weekend as well, pleasingly floaty and quite handsome in its own way...
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More from Citroen China, and I bring you the effortlessly stylish C4 saloon only to be sold over there. The glorious and snappily named Citroen C-Triomphe!.

You mean Chinese Citroens can no longer be referred to as "Fukang cars"?
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I often wonder how these decisions are made - same with the Kia Avella (hatch variant of Mazda 121 DB) it never made it to the UK but the only real difference I can think of would be a speedo in MPH which the US variant Ford Aspire has anyway.... :?:

I dunno. A bunch of marketing suits sitting around a table with a flagon of absinthe each?Another wierdo-spec Irish market car was the 1.4 Skoda Octavia which I mentioned here before. I had the misfortune to drive one, and as you'd expect you spend most of your time rowing through the gears to keep any bit of forward momentum.It sold so well here they introduced it on the UK market. :roll:
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Yeah, I've no idea what the logic behind sticking a 1.4 in a car that size was.

 

A 1.8 would be the minimum in my mind, but hey what the hell do I know.

 

On a different note, what discussion on futureshite would be complete without mention of this gimpy trio?

 

Ssangyong Rectum, oops Rexton. Freudian slip...

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Ssangyong Rodius

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Sangyong Kyron. I know it's just a rear shot but the front doesn't look any better.

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Maybe they thought they could get away with it because it was based on a smaller car (Mk4 Golf).Or Skoda were harking back to the days of 1.4 Peugeot 405s, Vauxhall Cavaliers and Citroen BXs. :D I quite like those Ssangyong 4x4s, I wish they'd make more of an attempt to sell the Musso pick-up here though, it's wonderful.

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Welli Ireckon the Kia Picanto has all the credentials in order to qualify for future shite. We've had one for 10 days while the Wife's car has been away at the bodyshop............It's bloody awful. No power, brakes are TOO sharp! It's like the pedals have been put in wrong. They're high off the floor, there's no driver seat height adjustment either. She's 5'1 but still struggles to sit in the Pig (as she named it) comfortably. It goes back today ......... We get our Focus back........a car that doesn't get blown away in a breeze.

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I dunno. A bunch of marketing suits sitting around a table with a flagon of absinthe each?

 

Another wierdo-spec Irish market car was the 1.4 Skoda Octavia which I mentioned here before. I had the misfortune to drive one, and as you'd expect you spend most of your time rowing through the gears to keep any bit of forward momentum.

 

It sold so well here they introduced it on the UK market. :roll:

That does sound a bit underpowered to say the least - my daily driver Proton Persona is only a 1.3L but due to the lightness of Asian build it does actually drive reasonably well with the 72, or so, small ponies under the bonnet.

 

I'm not sure what the crack is with these Ssangyong designs - they seem to be able to consistantly produce absolutely gash looking vehicles, actually, I'm not sure that design would be the correct word :wink:

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Probably a well known fact but the Rodius was designed by Ken Greenley - head of transport design at the London of college of arts. He was responsible for several Bentley and Aston designs, so this anomaly is a curious departure. I think the design brief was get the thing noticed. It certainly does that.

 

I'd also like to use this moment for us to remember these:

 

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In its 1.9 JTD form, these make quite a lot of sense.

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