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The Parking Thread


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#1 OFFLINE   Micrashed

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 10:57 PM

Im just going to leave these here....

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Now obviously if you cant get the parking right then really you really shouldn't be allowed out onto the road with a tonne or so of complex machinery.

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#2 OFFLINE   Ross_K

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 11:11 PM

Oh fuck, don't get me started. I parked right up beside one of those "over the line" people last week in the work van. The cunt phoned my boss to complain that he couldn't get back in his car... :D :D He got told to GTF.

Here's a dick muncher I spotted taking up two disabled spaces. Sideways.
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#3 OFFLINE   Station

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 11:34 PM

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#4 OFFLINE   Ross_K

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 11:43 PM

WTf is up with the spaz in the Audi? Is he/she doing it on purpose to make a statement?
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#5 OFFLINE   Micrashed

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 07:40 AM

Here's a dick muncher I spotted taking up two disabled spaces. Sideways.
http://i.imgur.com/GszNp.jpg...

:lol::lol::lol:
Special Needs Parking!

Sorry, I shouldnt poke fun like that but its so funny

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#6 OFFLINE   mk1_4dr

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 09:25 AM

The Audi and GSi are parked sarcastically.

The Crown Vic driver is obviously a twat.
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#7 OFFLINE   Shep Shepherd

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 09:57 AM

https://p.twimg.com/...8NI0.jpg:medium

The crone who was driving the car was aware that I was watching her attempt to park (and shaking my head in disbelief), yet she carried on :roll:

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#8 ONLINE   quicksilver

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 11:17 AM

Here's a dick muncher I spotted taking up two disabled spaces. Sideways.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Special Needs Parking!

Sorry, I shouldnt poke fun like that but its so funny


At least he's found the right area to park in :lol: Can't find a pic but it reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer parks across three disabled spaces outside the Kwik-e-Mart and gets arrested by Marge when she's a cop.

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#9 OFFLINE   myglaren

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 04:12 PM

A parallel of YPLAC :)

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#10 ONLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 07:58 PM

If I was Home Secretary I'd be handing out 24-month bans and compulsory retraining to almost every "driver" involved in the pics above. Those are almost as bad as Cypriot parking! :shock:

Mind, the architects who design car parks are not exactly innocent, they are still using spaces designed around the 1972 Fiat 127. I think the only cars you can buy nowadays that are as small as that, are radio-contolled models!

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#11 OFFLINE   MikeKnight

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 08:04 PM

Straddling two spots saves on getting dings I suppose! :lol:

#12 ONLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 08:08 PM

To be fair, I used to do it when I had my Cadillacs, but always at the furthest corner of the car park so I didn't inconvenience anybody. And I'd take two each way, ie park on the cross. Does that make me guilty? Or is my choice of spot mitigation enough?

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#13 ONLINE   Lacquer Peel

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 08:21 PM

There's been a couple of photos in the letters page of the local newspaper the last couple of weeks showing the same police Mitsubishi Outlander parking in two separate disabled parking spaces. :D

#14 OFFLINE   Ross_K

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 08:29 PM

To be fair, I used to do it when I had my Cadillacs, but always at the furthest corner of the car park so I didn't inconvenience anybody. And I'd take two each way, ie park on the cross. Does that make me guilty? Or is my choice of spot mitigation enough?


That's what I do if I dont want dings - park in the deserted part of the carpark rather than act the asshole.

It doesn't always work though. Last time I did it I came back to find some cock parked beside me and tore my fucking door trim off when he left. Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image

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#15 OFFLINE   TagoraSX

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 08:38 PM

I try to avoid supermarket car parks, when I have to I'm there at stupid o'clock when its deserted. If I'm driving something nice I will use two spots but in a deserted area.

#16 ONLINE   Timewaster

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 08:54 PM

Our tiny work carpark has 1 space in the corner which is a bit awkward to get into. Every morning the same cock parks half in and half out and ballses up the entire row.
Someone will park properly a few spaces away and you end up with 2/3rds of a space in the middle.
EVERY DAY!

He has been told a hundred times and still does it. Other than the hopeless parking, he is a nice bloke.

Oh, did I mention he is our lorry driver?!
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#17 OFFLINE   Conrad D. Conelrad

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 10:25 PM

The other day I was chillin' in a crowded retail park and watched some distinctly non disabled chap in a big van drive through two empty spaces so he could park in the one remaining disabled bay outside the shop. By not parking in the spaces he drove through he saved himself about four paces of effort.

#18 OFFLINE   M'coli

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 10:55 PM

The classiest piece of disabled parking I've so far seen was on a Sunday afternoon a few years ago. You could hear the car before you saw it, it was a high-powered job. As it came around the corner, it was a red, modern Ferrari, probably an F360. It pulled up in the empty car park in the disabled space nearest the shop, the engine was cut, and the youngish, slim, fit male driver disembarked from the car, wearing trousers and t-shirt.

Then he locked the car with the keys in his right hand and turned around, the left sleeve of his t-shirt flapping emptily in the breeze...

Fair enough, I though.

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#19 OFFLINE   worldofceri

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 11:36 PM

About a year ago I pulled up outside One Stop in Beaconsfield to make a delivery. I was driving a 13 tonner and had just waited a few moments for a car to pull away so's I could park right outside. I noticed a guy in a Nissan Juke coming the other way waving his arms around but thought nothing of it.

Anyway, he parked right behind me and jumps out, yelling something like, "don't I know what indicators are for?". I politely ask if he'd mind telling me what he's on about. Well, apparently, I 'stole' his parking space. I say, "sorry mate but that's just hard luck; I was already waiting to pull forward when you were just a dot on the horizon". He stomps off swearing and banging on about indicators again.

The following day the Transport Manager pulls me in the office; there's a complaint been made about me. This knob muncher has only taken the trouble to ring the company to have a whinge (which would take some effort as although the lorry has the company name all over, there's no phone number). Well, according to him I parked in a disabled bay (untrue, it's a regular parking bay) which he needed to use so that he could get his wheelchair out. Well, I laughed out loud when I heard that. Not only did he turn his car around so that he didn't even get out against the kerb he was literally striding about the place as well as anyone can. He also claimed I was abusive to him! No I fucking wasn't; I just asked the twat if he could explain what he was shouting and swearing about.

Luckily my TM is sound and accepted my explanation that "the bloke's a fucking raving nutter and a liar" and that was that. I had noticed that he did have a disabled blue badge in his window though. I wonder whether it's legit. If anyone knows of a Nissan Juke driver in South Bucks who uses a blue badge fraudulently don't be afraid to grass the wanker up because he's obviously not averse to trying to get someone else in the shit.

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#20 OFFLINE   autofive

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 12:24 AM

The classiest piece of disabled parking I've so far seen was on a Sunday afternoon a few years ago. You could hear the car before you saw it, it was a high-powered job. As it came around the corner, it was a red, modern Ferrari, probably an F360. It pulled up in the empty car park in the disabled space nearest the shop, the engine was cut, and the youngish, slim, fit male driver disembarked from the car, wearing trousers and t-shirt.

Then he locked the car with the keys in his right hand and turned around, the left sleeve of his t-shirt flapping emptily in the breeze...

Fair enough, I though.


yes being deficiant in the arm department means you can't walk far, so have to use one of the limited number of disabled spots :roll:



bad parking really pishes me off. If their parking is that bad, just think what their driving must be like.

#21 OFFLINE   RedSparrow

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 12:42 AM

I have seen a fat midlife crisis drug dealer type parking diagonally across the 2 disabled spaces outside a Little Chef in his Hummer H2. Needless to say he didn't have a blue badge.
But it was ok because he was clearly more important than everyone else who visited that restaurant that day as his choice of car demonstrates.

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#22 ONLINE   Richard

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 08:11 AM

Years ago I used to work in a student residence with a fairly large car park. One of the porters used to always park in the space closest to the main entrance. When the residence was told to provide a designated Disabled space they naturally chose the one the porter had been using, what with it being closest. The porter continued to park in it and, when challenged, said that there were no disabled people at the residence. A year or so later he ended up paralysed from the waist down and could use the space all he wanted. :shock:

#23 OFFLINE   ProgRocker

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 11:02 AM

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Nice bit of parking! by ProgRocker77, on Flickr

Not quite evident in the photo but The Ka and the Audi are properly parked in a layby, the Micra driver really fouled up. I wonder if he/she ever got blocked in for good on that day as it was a Sunday with relaxed parked restrictions and fairly close to the City Centre?

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Fiat Seicento by ProgRocker77, on Flickr

Not illegally parked but you would think that the driver could at least park one of the smallest cars on the road parallel to the kerb, wouldn't you? Also this 'lay by' is actually a slip road to a surface car park, so a bit vulnerable against rogue motorists entering the car park.

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Not one but two badly parked cars (sheep mentality?). Close to an iffy bend too, making seeing what's coming round the bend much harder. :roll: Dippy fcukers!:evil:

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#24 OFFLINE   willswitchengage

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 12:01 PM

Posted Image
19-10-07_1147 by willswitchengage, on Flickr

Taken in our village many years ago. Wtf? This is "parked"

EDIT - re tiny spaces, this car park is kaos these days

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1985 Car Park by Mick Travis, on Flickr

the 80s cars fill it out quite well, imagine that now with the aircraft carriers that people drive these days, even reversing in in a Corsa it required about five manoeuvres

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#25 OFFLINE   ProgRocker

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 12:29 PM

Mind, the architects who design car parks are not exactly innocent, they are still using spaces designed around the 1972 Fiat 127. I think the only cars you can buy nowadays that are as small as that, are radio-contolled models!


Small parking spaces are very annoying. I live in a mundane late 1980s block of flats and I was convinced that the parking spaces belonging to each of the flats were designed around a narrow 1981 Metro. My neighbour in the next flat and ajacent parking space has a Focus, and with 2 medium sized cars side by side it is a bit of a struggle getting in and out. I'm not a big chap either. I can park slightly more over to the parking space other side while it is empty but if a car parks there on a regular basis then I am going to struggle. My neighbour Focus driver doesn't struggle, he's a thin as a rake - as is his girlfriend.

If this happens then I might have to park on the roadside, which I can do for free while I claim a small amount of Housing Benefit with a free parking permit. Shame not to use the parking space though while it's included in the rent.

The parking spaces at my workplace are nice and wide, however. Plenty of space to get in and out.

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#26 OFFLINE   garethj

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 12:57 PM

The other day I was chillin' in a crowded retail park and watched some distinctly non disabled chap in a big van drive through two empty spaces so he could park in the one remaining disabled bay outside the shop. By not parking in the spaces he drove through he saved himself about four paces of effort.

This is true. If people could park inside the shop, I think they would. Of course they walk several hundred yards inside the shop, but that's nothing to do with anything :roll:

As for the size of cars and parking spaces, I've never had a problem parking the massive Tatra 613, Mrs_Garethj's new Jaguar S Type nor my old Land Rover 109 and that had no power steering and a turning circle of 40+ feet. Fair play I couldn't get into the spaces where someone else was parked on the line but there's always a space somewhere else.

Best car I had for parking was a Suzuki Whizzkid which was tiny, but a close second was the Volvo 740 estate. Surprisingly narrow, a tiny turning circle, you can see each corner and reacts well to a swift tug on the handbrake :D

There's no point getting worked up about twats parking; there's too many of them to worry about

#27 OFFLINE   HillmanImp

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Posted 02 August 2012 - 11:50 AM

I just witnessed this piece of epic parking:

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Dumping your car at the door of the shop, blocking the entrance to the car park for anyone else who might want to shop there. :roll:
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#28 OFFLINE   RobT

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Posted 02 August 2012 - 03:14 PM

What’s been annoying me recently is people parking opposite my garage so I can’t get the car out. The bin bays are opposite so they’re also blocking access to those. I waited for someone in a battered old Golf last week, but she was such a vague, doddery old girl I couldn’t get angry with her but instead told her she can also park on the road if all the allocated bays are full (some roads are permit only but ours isn’t). I’ve taken to putting a ‘Do not park opposite..’ sign up now which seems to have worked – makes me look a bit of a miserable git but DEAL WITH IT is what I say.

And since I’ve been shoe-horning the Renault 25 into my garage a few neighbours have decided to tell me how difficult they find using the garage is. I try and make them feel better by saying ‘well, modern cars are a lot wider than this old thing’ even though they are only driving a 59-plate Corsa. Mind you, it's probably not far off (modern cars are shit etc :wink: ).
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#29 OFFLINE   Jack_Harpers_Teeth

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Posted 02 August 2012 - 03:35 PM

Just found this on facebook...so probably not real;

Posted Image
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#30 OFFLINE   Woody

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Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:13 PM

Just found this on facebook...so probably not real;


You're right:

http://www.snopes.co...es/bollards.asp

(can't copy text from site for some reason)
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